


Fallings Sky

by Ace_Fangirl0405



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Asexual Character, BoyxBoy, Bulimia, Bullying, Depression, Fake Friends, Fanfic, Fanfiction, Gay Male Character, Jarchie - Freeform, M/M, Riverdale, Self-Esteem Issues, archiexjughead, jugheadxarchie - Freeform, netflix, selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 42,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28261959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ace_Fangirl0405/pseuds/Ace_Fangirl0405
Summary: Bullies exist all over the world. The only difference is how you deal with it.Jughead gets bullied from the whole football team, nevertheless he stays silent to his boyfriend, Archie Andrews, the guy who is best friends with the football captain and a football player as well. But how can he not know it? And what if the bullying does take too much on the raven haired boy? Him not being able to handle it anymore?
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lot of sleeping and other sleeping ;)  
> And these two boys enjoying each other while not going to school even though they have to... and a bit of cyber bullying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh first fanfic here on ao3  
> Finally decided to post here as well. If you wanna check out my other sides:  
> Wattpad: Ace-Fangirl0405  
> and from there on, everything is linked :)  
> hope you enjoy the story and I know that this isn't the best, I've written it a while ago so yeah, let's go

**01**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

_Love... Love is when you give the person your last piece of cake. Or is it when you protect them? Is it when you help them while they struggle? Is it if they let you fall asleep in your arms? Is it if you promise to stay with someone and to never leave them? Is love if you can share everything? Or maybe love is when you can be in each other's arms and feel the safe and comfortable in it? I didn't know what love was, at least not until I met Archie._

Thursday, 5th February 

The school bell rang and history class finally ended. Actually, I enjoy history class but today was such boringness. I was one of the last ones to leave and walked out of the room, getting surprised by a kiss from Archie. Archie, my lovely boyfriend... Gosh I love him so much. We just made it official two or three weeks ago but actually dated since more then a year by now. Why we made it official such so late? Well... mostly did I hesitate at making it official. But only because I knew of how people would react.... and just at how I thought they would react, they did react. But of course, Archie didn't know any of that... the bullying, the looks, just everything... and I'm not planning on telling him. 

"how are you, love?" Archie asked and pushed me back into reality "I'm good" one of the only things I lie about in front of him. But I couldn't tell him. I knew that he would try to help me but it would only make things worse. If he would try to defend me or if he would just react to the things.. it would only make things worse if I would tell him what was going on. So I just shut myself dow-

"earth to Jughead?" I got interrupted by Archie, frantically waving his hand in front of my face "huh? What did you said?" he sighed "if you want to go to mine after school?" I shrugged "I mean sure, why not?" I smiled at him and we went over to our next class, which we gladly had together. We sat beside eachother and just waited for the lesson to start. We secretly held hands under the desk. Of course, we were official now but I just didn't like the attention we get when people see us kiss, hold hands, etc.

After school we met at his locker and he stuffed his books in it. We started walking home, after he finished. He fidgeted out his keys as we were at the door of his house. After walking inside, we took off our jackets and shoes.

"You hungry?" Archie asked, walking in the kitchen "You know my answer arch, I'm always hungry" following him in the kitchen, I smiled. Archie turned around to look at me before asking, "pasta?" I nodded, smiling brighter "pasta" maybe there was a bit of fake in it but by than I couldn't even distinguish the fake ones from the really ones, except one thing if they were real, then they were definitely caused by Archie.

We made the pasta and put it on two plates. I got out two glasses, filled them with water and then we walked over to the couch. We ate and watched TV. Time went by pretty fast and soon the sun went down. I jumped out of his arms.

"I-I have to go Arch! I'm sorry.. It's late, my dad is waiting for me" my dad is waiting for me... another lie. But I promise, I only lie to him to not drag him down "calm down Jug, it's okay" I nodded and kissed his cheek, then I got up and put on my shoes and my jacket "Jug?" Archie asked and I looked over to him "yeah?"

"You forgot your beanie" I chuckled. He spinned my beanie around his fingers, then smiled and tossed it over to me. I grabbed it and put it on my head "thanks! We will see us tomorrow in school, right?" He nodded. I smiled and walked out of his house. After closing the door, I sighed.

Around ten minutes later, the school grounds appeared in my view. I wasn't going home, I just couldn't anymore. What happened a week ago was just too much. I headed inside through an open window and then walked over to the janitors closet... My so called "home" for now. After dad started drinking more, he got pretty abusive and I just couldn't stand it there anymore, it didn't feel like home. So one night, about a month ago, I just packed myself a bag with the most important things for me and then ran away. At first I stayed at the Drive-In where I also worked to get a bit of money but then it got closed so I had to search for something else. This something else then turned out to be the school grounds and that's where I've been sleeping these past two weeks ever since school started again. 

Why don't you talk to your boyfriend about that? I already answered this... It's just better for him if he doesn't know any of it, I only drag him down with me, I don't want that.

The next morning I got woken up from my phone clock. Two hours till school starts.. enough time to shower and to get ready before the first kids come to school.

**02**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Friday, 6th February 2020 

On Friday, we always have a football training before school already, so I was there early. After football practice I went in the locker room to grab some shower gel and my towel and then I headed in the bathroom to shower. I was done and got out, with only a towel on, and saw.. Jug. He was brushing his teeth but flinched as he saw me, turning around.

"A-Archie! What, What are you doing here??" his hands grabbed the wash basin as he backed away "football practice. Now your excuse to be at school so early?" he chuckled nervously, holding on the wash basin till his knuckles turned white "using the good... school showers?" even his face cringed by saying this, so I sighed before saying, "that's a lie... What are you really doing here?" he sighed, then put on his shirt and I put on my clothes as well. He bit his lip while walking towards the janitors room.

"well, you wanted to see it. Here you go" he chuckled dry and then opened the door of one of the janitor closets. His stuff was in one corner and a little camping bed, where he probably slept, was there too. He packed a few clothes in a backpack while I only looked at him unbelieving. He was sleeping in a janitors closet? For how long has this been going on?

"why the hell aren't you living at home?" I asked but Jughead just continued stuffing things in his backpack and therefore getting some school supplies out, not seeming to answer. Instead he put his chem book in his school bag "things just aren't good there, okay...?" I leaned on the door while he looked around "you're packing your clothes today and then you will move in to mine" he immediately shook his head, walking towards me "no, I can't afford that from you" I sighed, wrapping my arms around his waist "yes you can afford that from me. Plus, I can't just let you stay here, in school" he sighed but nodded an okay. I leaned in and kissed his lips softly "let's get ready for school, yeah?" 

And so... after school we packed his clothes. I helped him, getting his bags to mine. When we arrived at mine, we headed upstairs and threw the bags in a corner, just for the first time. I lifted him up and carried him to the bed. Laying down, I pulled him on top of me. He giggled and kissed me. I kissed back. Jug smiled at me and kissed me once more, then laid his head on my chest and fell asleep only seconds later. I wrapped my arms around him and fell asleep shortly after him. He really looked tired.

At some point I woke up again, not feeling him on me. I walked down to see him eating cereals "hey" I said and he jumped, turning around "Arch!" he sighed relieved, smiling with a full mouth, milk slipping out of it. I came closer and wiped it away, going in for a kiss. He put the bowl on the table and I lifted him up, causing him to giggle. I walked over to the living room and pulled him on top of me, since I can't be on top because I would be to heavy for him. I kissed him and he kissed back. He climbed more onto me, straddling my hips a bit. I smiled and rested my hand on his ass. He drove his fingers through my hair.

"what if your dad comes..?" he suddenly asked, pulling away from me "he knows that I'm gay" I said between kisses "yeah yeah.. but I mean if he sees us.. like this.." I just smiled at him before whispering "he wouldn't care but we can continue in my room, that's better?" he nodded, so I picked him up and he wrapped his legs around my torso, while I carried him upstairs. I laid him down on my bed but after I laid down as well, pulled him on top of me again. He continued to kiss me, starting to kiss my neck and I tilted it so he had more space. He went up to kiss me on the lips again, whispering "God I love you so much.."

"I love you too" I replied while he tucked on my hair again, driving his fingers through it. Smiling at me, he slowly took off my shirt. His shirt soon followed and after it, both landed in the floor. I played with the waistband of his boxers, while continuing to kiss him "You okay with that?" I asked softly, I didn't want to force him into anything. He nodded and I put off his trousers, throwing them on the floor in the near where my shirt was. I blushed as I realized that my dick was already a bit hard.

"sorry, I'm so sorry" I felt how my cheeks heated up but Jughead seemed to take it easy "no... problem" he said between kisses. Pulling away, he unzipped my trousers and then pulled them off. I smiled and helped him, continuing to kiss him. He let out a little moan, putting off my boxers next. I kissed him back while pulling him on top of me again. He kissed my neck and I let out softly moans. He kissed harder and started sucking, leaving hickeys.

He laid on my chest, out of breath. I smiled, while looking at him "sorry if my dick is poking you" he chuckled "it's alright" Jug looked up at me and kissed me "that was okay, right?" I asked, looking at him. He nodded and smiled "it was amazing Arch, don't worry" he kissed me again "I love you"

"I love you too but shouldn't we put on clothes again?" he asked, looking at me, and I shrugged "only if you want Juggy" he blushed a bit at the nickname. He still thinks it's cheesy but I just wanted to have a nickname for him, something that I only call him and no one else, prove that he's mine "I would prefer to"

"aww.. You're no fun but okay" he got up and put on one of his S-shirts and boxers. I left out the shirt, so I was only in boxers. He smiled and stepped closer again, wrapping his arms around my neck and kissing me. I smiled and kissed him back. We walked over to the bed again, still kissing and only breaking apart for taking a breath. I laid down and pulled him close to me, resting my hands on his waist. He laid his head on my chest and drove with his fingers over my abs. I giggled. The driving went slower till it finally stopped. I looked at him, only to see him asleep. He put his arms around me.

"I love you.." he mumbled groggily "I love you too" Jughead tried to find a comfortable position to lay on me and when he finally found it, he stopped moving and drove off to sleep deeper. I kissed his forehead and he started to snore a little bit. Gosh he is so cute when he sleeps, especially when he snores.

A few minutes later he started making his hands into fists and he moved more, mumbling things like: "n-no..." and "s-stop..." or "please don't" He squeezed his eyes shut and then woke up, flinching away from me. If I wouldn't have caught him, he would have fallen from the bed. I pulled close to me and he just looked at me with wide eyes, scared, for a few moments before whispering, "A-Arch..." I kissed him softly, hoping to make him calm down "are you okay?" I asked and he nodded "just a dream"

"okay, but if something is wrong you would tell me... right?" he nodded, said "of course" and then kissed me. We just stayed in each others arms for a few minutes, Jug slowly calling down again and resting his head on my chest. After a while, he looked up at me and gave me a peck on the lips, whispering "I love you" once he pulled away "I love you too Jug" he smiled "love you more" a grin spread across my face "that isn't even possible" here it comes again "it is"

"no" He kissed me, trying to shut me up but I wouldn't give in so quickly "yes I do" who love the other more? A little game we always play "no"

"yes"

"no"

"yes Arch" he smiled at me and kissed me again "damn you're just too cute" god, I just loose every time against him but how could I resist him?He blushed and I kissed his neck softly "God I love you so damn much" I whispered, continuing to kiss his neck and leaving hickeys "that's way better then sleeping or eating" he commented. I smiled and kissed him back on the lips. He cuddled up to me again "You don't know how thankful I am for you..." he whispered and I smiled, wrapping my arms around him again "I'm very thankful.." he rested his head on my chest and listened to my heartbeat "I'm thankful too babe" he smiled and I kissed his forehead "would you judge me if I sleep, again?" he asked, he always asks if he can go to sleep "no, of course I wouldn't mind" he nodded and I added, "love you"

"I love you too" Jug smiled and closed his eyes. I held him tight and he drifted off to sleep slowly. At the beginning he mumbled some things but quit after a while. He wrapped his arms around me and tried to held me tight too but he was just too tired. Even after the time he already slept by now.

**03**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Saturday, 7th February 2020

I woke up, snuggled up to Archie again. He was already awake, smiling when he looked at me and saw that I was awake "hey sleepy head" he greeted "hey" I mumbled in a tired voice "did you sleep good?" I nodded. How can I still be tired? He smiled and kissed me again "I love you Juggy" I smiled softly "I love you too"

Monday, 9th February 2020 

Over the weekend we would just lay in bed and cuddle, being snuggled up onto eachother. We only went downstairs to eat something. Mr. A, Archie's dad, was on a job trip so he couldn't bother us. On Monday I woke up, cuddled up to him like the whole last times I woke up on or beside him. Archie woke up shortly after me.

"hey, how had you slept?" he asked, he always asks me "I slept good, you?" I asked "great" he answered, smiling "that's good to hear" I nodded and pushed myself off of him "let's go and eat something" Archie nodded, kissing me but then just pulled me on top of him again. I giggled and kissed him "we have to go, not that we come late to school" I whined, trying to get up again but Archie still had his arms wrapped around me "do we have to Jug?" I sighed "I'm hungry Arch" when I had I finally gotten up from him, I went down to the kitchen. While I was making some food, someone hugged me from behind, making me jump, but when I realized that it was Archie, I turned around to kiss him. He still hugged me tight while kissing back. 

After a bit, I pulled away "okay okay. Now I REALLY need go eat something" I chuckled, gosh I'm STARVING "naww... okay" Archie said and continued to walk in the kitchen, where I actually already planned on going. I followed him "what do you want?" I asked and Archie turned around to look at me "You but since I can't have that... cereals will make it too" I playfully hit his arm and giggled, my cheeks heating up. Smiling, I filled some cereal in a bowl, poured milk into it and then reached the bowl with cereals over to him. He grabbed it and then kissed me.

"thanks babe" I made myself some cereals too and then went to the table and sat down in front of Archie. He watched me eating and I noticed it after a while "what are you looking at?" I asked, chuckling "your sexy ass" I felt my cheeks heat up once again, I blush very easily and Archie always says something like that "you can't even see it from here" I said, smiling. I leaned over to kiss him but then got back how I was, so that I could comfortably finish my breakfast. Once we did, we put the bowls and spoons in the dish washer.

"let's take a shower" Archie suggested, I smiled and nodded. He held my hand, while walking over to the bathroom. Archie grabbed some towels, while I put off my boxers and shirt. He did the same and turned on the shower. We stepped in and showered, giving eachother a kiss here and there.

"can't we just cuddle and not go to school today?" I asked, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around me "but we have to go to school Jug... as much as I would want to" every time I ask for skipping school, he usually didn't even think about agreeing but this morning he hesitated and finally replied, "I hate you for doing this to me" he let out a huff "but we can stay home here and cuddle"

"really?" I asked and kissed him "yeah BUT if we get in ANY trouble then it's your fault" I nodded "okay I can live with that" I walked over to him, wrapped my arms lose around his neck and then got on my tip toes to kiss him once again. Archie kissed back and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer. I smiled and rested my hands on his waist. Archie kissed my neck and I tilted it a bit and let him do it. He kissed my neck harder, sucking on it and I let out a little moan. 

"shouldn't we go to your room?" I whispered. He nodded and smiled, walking over to his room and waiting for me to come too. I followed him and he put me on top of him, just as always. And I obliged, just as always "now it's my turn" I said softly and started to kiss his neck and I guess, you all know what I wanted to start there.

**04**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Monday, 9th February 2020

"liking that?" Jug asked and I nodded, humming. He smiled and continued to kiss my neck. My dick slowly got hard and started to press against him. He chuckled and I moaned softly. His phone buzzed and we both noticed, since it was laying on the night desk beside my bed. Jughead stopped for a split second but then just shrugged like he never got any message. We kissed again and he started tucking on my hair. I kept kissing him but his phone buzzed again. I stopped and pulled away.

"You should get this" he shook his head "no no no... uh don't worry about that. I can check this later.." he quickly said and I nodded "okay" Jug continued and I started moaning again but he wasn't there anymore, not really at least. I stopped and gently dragged him off of me, knowing that he wasn't in the mood anymore "why did you do this?" he asked, looking at me "cause you're not in the mood anymore" he chew on his bottom lip, a sign that he was low-key nervous "no, that's not true" he pouted "You promise that you're still in the mood?"

"I am.. it's really nothing, you shouldn't worry about" He said, hovering over me again and I chose to believe. Especially when Jughead started to stroke my dick harder and kissed my neck again. I moaned but he just wasn't there, I knew it. He kissed my neck gently till I stopped him again, pulling him away from me so that he could look at me "okay okay, that's enough" I gently pushed him beside me but still so that we would face each other. 

"w-what is?" he asked and I sighed "is there something you want to tell me.. about the messages maybe?" I rested my head on my hand and he shook his head "n-no," he cleared his throat "no.. forget about the message, please" I sighed "no, tell me Jug" I insisted "it's nothing Arch... really" he started fidgeting with his hands, he was getting more nervous by the second "yes it is. It is something Juggy, if not, than you would tell me. So, please tell me" he sighed and sat up. I looked at him but he looked away, staring at the wall while digging his fingers in the blanket by now "it's really nothing Arch.." he mumbled quietly "Juggy, don't shut me out" I begged, sitting up as well. I kissed his cheek and grabbed his hands but it didn't seem to work since he stayed quiet "okay, don't tell me then" I said annoyed and got out of the bed, putting on my clothes "Archie wait-" He got up and stretched his arm to the door where I just stood but let himself just plop down on the bed again. I sighted and went downstairs.

**~ Jughead Jones ~**

At some point, around 3pm, I walked downstairs "A-Arch..?" I asked, peaking my head over to the living room. Archie sat on the couch and shut down the volume of the TV "what do you want?" he asked, not looking at me. I took a deep breath and then walked over to him. Sitting down on the couch. I looked at him, taking his hand in mine. 

He turned around to look at me "what's going on Juggy? Please tell me" he begged again but I shook my head and bit my lip... but then it turned into a nod "okay.." Archie stood up so he would stand in front of me but then he crouched down in front of me and then took my hands in his "you can tell me anything Juggy" he reassured me and I nodded, mumbling "I know..." he kissed me "bit it's really easier if I just show you" he nodded "well, then show me" I hesitated but then fidgeted out my phone. Archie still looked at me "i-it's going on for years by now.. But it kinda escalated after.. after we two made it official, I hesitated with us because I knew that this would happen"

"what escalated?" Archie asked. I looked down and fiddled out my phone "Texts, calls... Pictures.." I started counting "of what, Juggy? I don't understand" I sighed and fidgeted with my fingers again, unlocking my phone "just look..." he looked at me confused but then took my phone and looked through the messages. I already knew the messages.. People, all bulldogs except Archie and sometimes Cheryl, who were attacking me but mostly because I was together with Archie. I stayed quiet and still looked down. I could see that Archie's face frowned as he looked through the messages..

"who is doing that jug?" he asked, putting the phone down on the table "just some jocks from school" he kissed me and said, "I'll handle it, love" but I grabbed his arm and shook my head "n-no Arch.." he sighed "why not?" he asked, confusion in his face. I can't tell him, can I? I have to, Archie deserves to understand "because they won't stop"

"if I punch their faces hard enough, than they will stop" he said bluntly. I shook my head "no... not t-that you will get hurt.." my fingers tucked on the hem of my shirt "I won't get hurt, don't worry Juggy" I shook my head "p-please Arch" I begged him. If he would get hurt because he wanted to protect me then- I don't know. I can't let this happen "okay fine, I won't" I breathed out relieved "thank you... I only want to protect you from getting hurt. It's just some jokes..."

"how long is that going on?" I still looked down, trying to find a date where it started but I couldn't anymore "I don't know.. a few years... B-But it got worse after me made it official that we are together.." he sighed, taking my shaking hands in his again "they are bullying you" he's so soft to me... I can't ruin him "these are just some jokes they say" Archie cupped my face, looking me deep in the eyes and repeated himself "they are bullying you babe" I shook my head but stopped. I nodded and felt how tears dropped out of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. At least till Archie wiped them, then he softly kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry.. I should have told you sooner.." I sniffed but he just pulled me in a hug. His arms wrapped around me and I calmed down a bit. He kissed my cheek as I buried my head in his chest "it's okay, I know that you were scared" he said softly and I sniffed again before saying, "I just.. It wasn't the big of a deal and I didn't want to bother you.." I sobbed while clutching onto Archie's shirt "if something is bothering you then tell me, okay? Because you not telling me, bothers me, okay?" I nodded and he lifted my head by putting his index finger and thumb on my chin "I love you Juggy, I won't let anyone hurt you"

"I love you to Arch" I sniffed again but then laid down and pulled Archie down with me. He giggled and then started playing a bit with my soft hair, curling it around his fingers and driving through it. I smiled slightly and kissed him softly. Closing my eyes, I laid my head down on his chest again "can I sleep?" I asked and he hummed, so I did and pretty soon drove off to sleep. He understands me... Maybe, maybe everything will be better again. Maybe...

**05**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Monday, 9th February 2020

I moved a bit around and after I woke up, I looked at Archie and smiled. He was just so cute when he is sleeping, wish I could look so cute when I'm asleep. After a bit of time, he woke up too and kissed me "go back to sleep Arch" I whispered, he nodded but had a grin on his face "okay but you kiss me first, then I'll go back to sleep" I chuckled and rolled my eyes but leaned in and pressed my lips on his. He had a satisfied smile on his face and closed his eyes again. I waited till I was sure that he was asleep. "Archie? Are you awake?" I whispered but got no answer, phew... He's asleep. I carefully and slowly got off of him and stumbled over my own feet at the attempt of standing. After landing on my butt, I held my breath and looked at Archie but he only moved a bit till he found a new pose to sleep, one arm and one leg hang casual over the edge of the couch. I sighed relieved and then got up. The stairs creeped as I walked upstairs, _can't they just shut the fuck up?! I try not to wake up my boyfriend here! But of course you wouldn't care, would you?? What am I even doing here? Yelling at staircases in my mind..._

In Archie's room, I fidgeted my phone out. Alone on the way to his room, messages came. Well, usually school would be finished now, they probably just want to make me feel bad about staying out of school.

**~ Archie Andrew's ~**

"Jug?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and looking around but Jughead wasn't there anymore. After getting up, I walked upstairs and looked around. The door to my room was cracked open so I walked in and saw him. Jug sat on the ground, one arm wrapped around his knees and holding his phone while the other covered his mouth and muffled the sobs. I snapped it away and held it in my hands, ready to break it. He surely read those stupid messages.

"No no no! Giv... Give it back Archie" Jug begged but I turned it off and put it in one of the drawers. I don't even care what they texted, fact is: they do and they hurt Jug with that. I can't let that happen anymore "Archie! Give it back!" he snapped, standing up, but I shook my head "no, I am not giving it back. It's not good for you" he groaned "just give it back Archie! It's not yours..." he sobbed "I don't care" I said bluntly. I came closer to wrap my arms around him but he pushed me away "you can't decide over my things Archie. Give it back... please"

"fine, you're only hurting yourself anyways" I opened the drawer again and reached it over to him. He grabbed it and then walked over to the door "thanks..." he mumbled and that was everything I heard, before he walked out of my room. I heard him walk down the stairs again and from there, he probably went to the living room again. I just don't get it. Why is he doing that all over again? He knows exactly that they will write some bad stuff and he still keeps on checking them. 

**~ Jughead Jones ~**

_Come on Jughead. He is only trying to help you. Don't ruin it like they foreshadowed it!_

I shook my head and went downstairs. Archie sat on the couch and stared at the wall. Before walking over and sitting down on the couch, I wiped my eyes with the hem of my shirt. I sat at the other side of the couch and slowly reached out to him till I hesitantly grabbed his hand "Arch..." silence "I'm sorry... for what just happened"

"yeah okay" I sighed and gave his hand a softly squeeze "can you please look at me?" he turned around and faced me "what do you want?" I flinched a bit at his harsh tone but I guess, he didn't notice "I-I don't know what I want here..." I mumbled, still squeezing his hand "but I know that I love you and that I want to be together with you. That's for sure.." I resured. What if he wants to breakup with me now? "yep, love you too" he said, facing the wall again "can you please turn around Arch? I want to see your face" I pleaded but he only asked, "why?" still in the harsh tone but also to that question, I didn't know any answer but I still squeezed his hand "fine" he groaned and looked at me again.

"thanks..." I hesitated to question but then still asked it "and you sure that you still want to be here with me?" I looked down and fidgeted with my fingers again. This was it, now he's going to finally leave again. But my worries got washed away when Archie sighed and gently put one of his hands on my arms "I am mad at you, yes. But I don't want you to leave because of that. I know how your dad can get when he's drunk" I nodded, keeping my gaze down. _He's mad, nothing I should worry about. It's not like people weren't mad at me before._ **Dumphead, this isn't just one person, this is Archie.** True... But it was my fault tha- 

"soo are you going to sit in my lap or just sit there?" Archie asked, looking at me, and I turned my face to look at him "You sure that you still want that, after what just happened...?" he grabbed my other hand "just as I said, I'm mad at you but I don't want you to leave" I shot him a small smile and then crawled in his lap. Archie kissed me on the cheek and then wrapped his arms around my stomach "I-I just want to know what they texted so that I can be prepared when they say it in school. Crying alone is okay but not with others around" I sniffed and Archie put his head in the crook of my neck "and me? Are you comfortable with crying around me?" I hesitated to answer... I didn't want to. But then I shook my head "it's not your fault Arch, I promise. It's just... I don't like to show others that I cried. I look completely ugly when I do, my eyes are swollen and red and I have tear strained cheeks and I just don't want you to see me like that" I blurted out, not even caring anymore if Archie knew or not.

"You know, you aren't ugly when you cry. You're still beautiful Jug" I chuckled dry "you say that now, have you ever seen me crying? I think not and you probably never will" he thought for a moment before saying "I have seen you crying once. It was when I caught you reading the messages again" I opened my mouth but then closed it again. I couldn't say anything to that. He is right...he saw me before and I was low-key crying... Low-key much crying "You aren't ugly when you cry Juggy, you're still beautiful. You believe me, right?" I nodded "yeah, yes I do believe you Arch" but do I though...?

**06**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Tuesday, 10th February 2020

_Veronica stood at the end of the aisle. She wore one of those oh so beautiful white wedding dresses. It had a long trail and she had a silver veil clipped onto her hair. She had one of her perfect smiles on while her arm was linked with her daddy, note the eye roll here. But that wasn't what bothered me. No, me bothered that Juggy stood next to her. He wore a perfect black suit... that should be me right beside him. Me, not dump Veronica Lodge. I should marry Jug not her. I took a deep breath... this is hell. It's hell!_

_"do you, Veronica Cecilia Lodge, take Forsythe Pendleton Jughead Jones the third to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, till death do you apart?" the priest asked and Veronica nodded, am I wrong or do I see slight guilt in her eyes? Alright, I can't take this anymore. I have to leave this here! I suddenly stood up and headed out of the church. There is no way I'm watching Juggy getting married with someone who isn't me. I ran... I ran over the sidewalk, the parking lot and into the forest. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes out of my trouser pocket and pulled one out before stuffing the pack back in my pocket. I lit the cigarette and took a drag. Wait... I haven't smoked for two years. I've been clean because Jug didn't like it. What am I even doing here??_

**~ Jughead Jones ~**

Archie smiled at first but then his sleep became uneasy and he started moving more and more. But since I laid on top of him, he just grabbed me tighter and held me like a teddy bear. I smiled and closed my eyes but then he squeezed me tighter. So I woke him up.

"everything okay...?" I whispered, after he opened his eyes "yeah, I uh... I just had a bad dream" I smiled softly at him, even though it hurt that he held me so tight "Arch... You gotta tell me about the dream. It will help, believe me. I've been through this a lot, I know what I'm talking about" I smiled softly at him but he just shook his head "there wasn't anything to worry, I can't even remember what happened" he chuckled "you promise?" I asked "I promise" he replied and I kissed him "good, than you can stop holding me so tight... it kind of hurts" I cringed, saying this but he immediately let go "oh I'm so sorry" he apologized "thank you" I smiled softly and gave him a short kiss "I'll go back to sleep, if that's okay with you"

"that's completely fine Juggy" he kissed me again but then got off of the couch. My head shot up as I rolled off of him and onto the cushions "where are you going?" I asked and of course my sleepy ass couldn't help but to yawn "to the kitchen" I nodded "why?" he chuckled "cause I'm thirsty babe" I quickly stumbled off of the couch, following him "what are _you_ doing?" I smiled and said "coming with you" before giving him a peck on the lips and then walking past him to go in the kitchen.

"what do you want?" I asked when I was in the kitchen "just some water" I nodded and grabbed a glass from one of the cupboards then held it under the watertap. After filling water in it, I reached it over to Archie "thank you" he grabbed the glass and took a sip. I smiled and, as soon as he wasn't drinking anymore, kissed him on the lips again. Archie sat down the cup and wrapped his arms around my waist. I faced him more and wrapped mine around his neck "should... we... go... upstairs...?" I asked between kisses "if... you... want..." I chuckled "then... let's... go..." I pulled away and grabbed his hand. I started walking to the stairs and he followed me.

In Archie's room, I laid on the bed and got pulled on top of him as he laid down as well. I giggled and kissed him again "I love you Jug... you're the best thing in my life" my cheeks heated up. Why am I like that around Arch? "you're by far the best thing that happened to me" I smiled and Archie wrapped his arms around me again. I yawned again, _why the heck am I still tired? Literally all we did for the past three days plus Friday after school was sleeping and kissing here and there. There is no way that I'm still tired after al-_

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

"You want to sleep?" I asked softly and he just nodded. I rocked Jug and after a few minutes, he already fell asleep again. He is really tired... I smiled and watched him sleep but then his phone buzzed and the display lit up. I reached out to the nightstand and tried to grab his phone without waking Jug up. He doesn't have to know... I'm only looking if there are some new messages. I couldn't just know that people bully him and not look at his phone. 

**Reggie Mantle:** _You thought that I wouldn't notice that you were gone today? Did your boyfriend finally broke up with you and crushed your heart? Hah, I bet so. Who could love someone who is already broken beyond repair and writes depressing poetry, huh? You are stupid for believing that he would have ever really cared about you._

Okay. that's it, this idiot is getting his pants ripped off.

**07**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Tuesday, 10th February 2020

**Reggie Mantle:** _You thought that I wouldn't notice that you were gone today? Did your boyfriend finally broke up with you and crushed your heart? Hah, I bet so. Who could love someone who is already broken beyond repair and writes depressing poetry, huh? You are stupid for believing that he would have ever really cared about you._

**Me:** _This isArchie, fuck you and leave him alone. I do love him, he is my world._

**Reggie Mantle:** _Why are you omg his phone?_

**Me:** _That's none of you fucking business._

**Reggie Mantle:** _You shouldn't look into other phones, Andrews._

**Me:** _And you should leave my man in peace before something bad happens._

**Reggie Mantle:** _Oh please, what are you going to do?_

**Me:** _Leave him alone now._

**Reggie Mantle:** _Alright fine._

**Me:** _I swear, if I find out that you're still bullying him, I will hurt you and that's a promise I will keep._

**Reggie Mantle:** _Calm down Andrews._

**Me:** _No you can calm the fuck down, Reggie._

**Reggie Mantle:** _Why should I?_

**Me:** _Because you're bullying someone for no reason_

**Reggie Mantle:** _You don't know anything, Andrews. You would be in for a surprise_

**Me:** _Well, than tell me._

**Reggie Mantle:** _Why should I? Just leave it._

**Me:** _No, fuck you! Mind your own business Andrews._

**Me:** _You're fucking dead now, you coward._

_This bitch isn't answering anymore! Okay, he will definitely learn a lesson in school tomorrow. I won't just let that slip, I can't. He is the reason that Jug is so self concious, he hasn't admitted anything yet but I can feel this. Reggie is affecting him in some way, a way I don't like._ Jughead moved a bit and squeezed his eyes. I started rocking him again, trying to let him have some more sleep. I smiled sadly and let out sigh but it didn't help, he moved even more and wrapped his arms around me, tucking on my shirt "Arch..." he mumbled but then drove off again, falling into light snoring. Slowly I started to relax again but then he mumbled my name again but he looked more and more distraught. I wanted to wake him up but then he woke up by himself. His eyes were wide but then went back to normal as he saw me. I gave him a kiss on the forehead before asking, "rough sleep?" I asked and he just simply nodded "how long did I sleep anyways?" I shrugged "hour or maybe just a half, I'm not sure" he nodded "shouldn't we go and eat something?" I chuckled "literally everything you've done the past three days is sleeping, eating, kissing me, sleeping and eating" I don't know why but he seemed a bit hurt after that, it was only a joke "let's go" I swallowed and tried to take the comment, I just said, out of his head. I got off of the bed and reached out my hand to him "you commin'?" he shook his head "I'm not hungry anymore Arch.. let's just- uh let's just stay in bed and cuddle... o-okay...?" he looked up at me and forced a smile "fine, but I will take a quick shower before, okay?" he nodded "okay... I'll just wait here... hurry up, I guess" this situation was awkward. I shook my head and grabbed new clothes before leaving my room and walking in the bathroom. 

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

_Am I really only sleeping and eating? Do I eat too much? Is Archie thinking that I'm not thin enough? Should I eat less? I don't understand, I thought I had my eating under control... Why didn't I notice that I was eating too much again? Why do I have to eat so much? I already put it down to only eat when I'm hungry... meaning like eating something before school, a boal of cereal after school and then an apple and a banana for dinner. Is that still too much? I mean, of course I could easily quit breakfast before school... I'm not hungry and it wouldn't affect anything. Yeah, that should work. Also I could quit the midn-_

"babe??" Archie's voice let my head spin up "can you get me a towel?? I forgot to bring me a new one after I put the last one in the washing machine" he yelled from the bathroom and I got up from the bed and grabbed a towel from one of the drawers, then walked in the bathroom and reached Archie one in the shower after he put off the water "thanks babe" he smiled and then stepped out of the shower, the towel around his waist "uh I'm gonna go back to your room" I managed to mumble before heading off to Archie's room again.

Only one minute later, he came into his room and sat on the bed beside me "Soo... pops or dinner here?" I didn't listen, so I stuttered out, "w-what?" he chuckled "dinner. You were hungry and wanted to eat something and now I asked if you want to eat here or go to pops?" Now it clicked. Of course. I'm dumb. I could have facepalmed myself "uh pops is okay" he nodded "great, I will call Betty and Veronica if they want to join us, alright?" I just nodded but actually I didn't even want to go to pops. I didn't even want to eat right now. One dinner won't change anything.

_Oh how wrong I was. This was only the beginning of something. Yes, it started with this dinner but this wasn't the last time I would skip a meal. There was nothing wrong with me... right? No, that couldn't be. I was just a bit self conscious because Reggie and other people may have said some things and because mom left me and dad hit me a few times, nothing bad. Other people had it way worse so it wasn't that big of a deal. They were all just saying and doing some stupid things... they weren't true, right...?_

**08**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Tuesday, 10th February 2020 

An hour later, me and Jughead sat in a booth at pops. Another ten minutes passed till Veronica and Betty arrived as well. Jughead was still shaking so I tried to calm him down. I grabbed his hand and the with other one, I rested on his knee, rubbing it a bit. It normally calmed him down but this time, it didn't seem like it.

Veronica and Betty sat in front of us and Jughead sat in the corner of the booth. He always sits in the corner because he feels uncomfortable when he sits in the aisle seat and everyone can see him. He also feels uncomfortable eating when he's with me, Betty or Veronica because he thinks that we judge him because of the way he eats. Jughead tensed up when the two girls sat down and his hand fiddled out of mine to be placed around his stomach. I looked worried at him but didn't say anything. Apparently Betty noticed it too, since she asked, "Jug, are you okay?" he simply nodded "I'm fine Betty, just not hungry"

"What did you do with our Jughead and who are you?" Veronica asked, it was obviously a joke "I'm just not feeling well recently, okay? I might get a flu or something like that, that's all" lie. Even when he was sick, he still eats normal. Just like he always does, whenever you ask him if he wants soemthing to eat, he will say yes. That's the thing about Jughead, no matter what situation, Jughead is always hungry. I squeezed his knee and still looked at him. He sighed and put a smile on his face, fake "let's order" he said and shook his head.

We ate and talked for a bit. At some point, when I looked at Jughead, he laid asleep on the wall. I smiled and gently rested his head on my shoulder. He shouldn't lay on the hard wall when I'm here already, although that I don't know how many times he has already fallen asleep here. Pop came around the corner and smiled "you two are so sweet together. Should I pack his food in a bag?" I nodded and smiled "thanks Pop" he is just really sweet. He is like the biggest supporter of gays and LGBTQ+ in general. Like whenever someone has something against gayness or is homophobe or just something similar like this, Pop is there for this person. No mattter what. He is like the parent we never had.

I chuckled to myself and then looked back down at Jug. He was sleeping peacefully on my shoulder while his hand was on my thigh and mine on top of his, our fingers intertwined "gosh you two are so cute" Betty said in aww and let me snap out of my trance of looking at Jughead "he is so calm and looks so beautiful when he is asleep" Veronica and Betty nodded and then Betty said:, "except when he snores" and we all fell in a fit of laughter. But I stopped a soon as Jug stirred a bit "anyways... I think I'll get sleepyhead over here home. Can I give you a ride home as well Betty?" she shook her head "no, but thanks. I'll sleep at Ronnie's tonight" I nodded and got out of the booth while dragging Jughead's sleeping body with me. I carried him bridal style into my car and buckled him up. Then I got in the driver's seat and started the engine.

We arrived back at home and I unbuckled him, carried him inside, walked up to my room and laid him in the bed. I put off my shoes, jacket... just everything except underwear. Then I did the same with Jughead but left his hoodie on. I knew that he felt more comfortable when he wears something that covers his stomach but he prefers if his arms are covered as well. Another plus point is if it's either an oversized one or one of mine, they are too big for him.

I sighed, flopped down beside him on the bed, put the blanket over us and wrapped my arms around him. When I already closed my eyes, his phone went off and I saw a message from Reggie. I grabbed his phone tighter and was afraid that I could break this. This bitch is going to learn something tomorrow.

**Reggie Mantle:** _Saw you at pops with your boyfriend. Guess you two didn't break up then. But you know, you look cite when you sleep. I have something that represents that: 🤮_  
**Reggie Mantle:** _Hope that you have sweat Dreams Jughead. Who knows if he won't break up with you tomorrow. Between us, you have gained weight, should loose some pounds._

_**Me:** _Reggie what the actual fuck? Stop this shit right here. I love him, no matter how much he weights._ _

_**Reggie Mantle:** _Oh come on. We both know that you will leave him sooner or later. You are a fuck-boy Andrews, not a keeper, you don't stick with someone for too long._ _

_**Me:** _Are you serious here?? I fucking love him, no matter what and I already told you, lave him the fuck alone, or I swear, next time that I see you._ _

_**Reggie Mantle:** _But why should I? He is just some Southside scum with a criminal as dad._ _

_**Me:** _Reggie, I swear, if you don't stop, I'm going to Mr. Weatherbee and I bet that he won't just let that slip away._ _

_He didn't answer. _Fucking coward._ I put the phone away and sighed, then kissed Jughead on the forehead and spooned him before closing my eyes and falling asleep as well. _

__

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

I woke up and looked at Archie, a smile spreading on my face. It was definitely too early to get up - I didn't even look at the clock - but I was thirsty, so I got out of the bed and kissed him on the cheek "I'll be right back Arch" I whispered, freeing myself from him and getting up "okay babe" Archie mumbled, half asleep. I turned around, I thought he is asleep. But then, I just shrugged and went downstairs, walking in the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. After drinking it, I walked back in Archie's room. Outside it was already getting dark but the sun was still up a bit, so I could see Archie laying in bed, his arms behind his head and looking at me. I smiled and kissed his cheek. Archie pulled me back in bed and I giggled.

"how have you slept?" he smiled "good, thanks to you" I felt my cheeks heating up and just kissed him. Archie pulled me closer and I wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me on top of him and kissed me again. I felt his tongue running along my bottom lip and opened my mouth a bit to let it slid in. Archie squeezed my butt and that's when I pulled away.

Archie looked at me, confusion in his face "what's wrong Juggy?" I shook my head "n-nothing... w-what... what should be wrong...?" he shrugged "nothing, I just thought something was wrong because you pulled away" I shook my head "no no, everything is fine" Archie smiled and I laid down on his chest. He kissed my forehead and I smiled. While he played with my hair, I listened to Archie's heartbeat and slowly calmed down. 

"hey, is it okay if I sleep?" I asked, opening my eyes again "of course Juggy, you never have to ask for permission to sleep" I nodded "yeah... I know, just in case" Archie kissed me on the forehead again. I closed my eyes and already started to drift off. With Archie it was so easy to sleep. I knew that I was safe with him, he was my safe place.

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

He fell asleep again and I just couldn't help but to stare at him. His phone went off again and I sighed. There can't be something good right now, the whole last messages were only bad stuff. Why dies he even have their number.. or well, a phone after all? It wold be so easy to just change his number and than all of that would be solved... I picked up his phone and read the message.

 **Moose:** _Why don't you just leave, huh? I mean, you don't deserve someone who is as good as him anyways, he is way over your league_  
**Moose:** _You don't deserve him._  
**Moose:** _You are not worth it._  
**Moose:** _You'll loose him anyways, so why not stop it now where it won't hurt?_

**Me:** _If y'll don't leave him alone, I will personally beat you asses. Stop fucking with my man, you damn prick._

**Moose:** _Don't overact Andrews._

**Me:** _Overacting? I'm not doing so, you just need to leave him alone._

**Moose:** _But why should we? Do you think that beating us will stop it?_

**Me:** _Because you're really fucking with his mind and if he kills himself that that's on you. And if that's it, than I'm killing every one of you as well._

**Moose:** _Oh please, it issn't that bad, we are just joking._

**Me:** _you are taking it too far._

**Moose:** _Just ignore it Andrews, it's nothing of your business._

**Me:** _It is my business because you're hurting my fucking boyfriend._

**Moose:** _I don't think so._

I wanted to reply but Jughead started mumbling, probably having a nightmare again "Arch.... mhm... n-no..." I just held him closer, rubbing his back ad trying to calm him down again. He cuddled up to me and moved a bit, his hair tickling me.

**Me:** _Well, it is._

**Moose:** _I suggest you to leave it_

**Me:** _and what if I don't?_

**Moose:** _Well, then you will see what happens next._

I was pissed. _How can they do that to him??? He doesn't deserve it._ Jughead started tossing again and I quickly turned his phone off and put it on the nightstand where he had left it before going to sleep. He woke up and rubbed his eyes "what happened to sleeping?" I asked, kissing him "just had a nightmare, what did you do in this time? Have you been staring at me the whole time?" he asked tired "maybe...?" I said but he just shrugged, cuddling up again and snuggling his head in the crook of my neck "you're adorable when you're tired" I could see a smile on his face but then his eyes widened and he sat up, looking at me scared "which time do we have?"

"8pm, why?" he closed his eyes and his body relaxed "okay..." suddenly he jolted up and his eyes widened again "fuck! 8 pm?? I have to go!! Shit!" he got off of me and straddled on his clothes "wait, where do you have to go?" I asked, sitting up on my elbows "I-I'll be back soon, I promise, promise..." he got in his pants and shot me a smile, reaching out his arms "my phone. Can you give it to me?" I grabbed his phone and tossed it over to him, so he would be able to get it. He still managed to almost drop it before running out of my room, seconds later I heard the door getting thrown close. I sighed and laid down in bed again.

**09**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Tuesday, 10th February 2020 

I tried to rub, with the sleeves of my hoodie, the blood off my face. I pulled the hood over my head before knocking on Archie's door. You probably want to know what happened, right? Yeah well, I went over to dad's trailer, to check up on him... and he, of course, was drunk and then things got quite... messy.... I just wish that I could help him more....

It didn't take long before I heard shuffling inside and a mad Archie opened the door "h-hey..." I squeaked out, barely a whisper and looking down. Archie didn't say anything at first but then sighed, saying, "your dinner is in the microwave" I fidgeted with my fingers, still staying outside "I'm not hungry, thanks. I'll just go to bed" I slipped throat the door so that I could pass Archie... he can't see me right now "okay, uh I'll leave but I'll be back tomorrow morning so that I can drive you to school"

"where are you going?" I asked, turning around to look at him but Archie just went upstairs "I don't know, I just want to be away from here" I followed him upstairs "how do you mean this? I thought, you would stay somewhere over night. So, where are you going till morning?" he shrugged "I don't know, but I need to clear my mind. Alright?" Archie grabbed a bag and his keys "oh... okay..." he went downstairs again and then just opened the door and left. ...what did just happen...? I looked after him. How he threw the bag in his car seat, how he sat down in the driver's seat, how he started the engine, how he drove away. I looked after him till he finally disappeared.

After this, everything is a blur. I - more like my mind - shut off. It's a coping mechanism of mine, when I'm overwhelmed or don't want something to be true, I shut off. Just carrying on with my day without thinking about it, acting like it didn't happen at all. I can't control it... it just happens. Like this day.

I walked in the bathroom, took off my hood and stared at my reflection. Fuck am I ugly. There was a black eye forming and I had a cut on my cheek. I mean, basically there were going to be a few bruises by tomorrow but I can worry about that later. I had ugly bags under my eyes and there were still tear strains. I went into Archie's room and opened the zip of my bag, then got out the black little box. It had little glimmer blue things. Like you know when something breaks and then you fix it with glue but the glue is still seen? Yeah that's the blue stuff on the box. I sighed relieved and grabbed it, heading back to the bathroom.

I looked at the mirror and scrubbed off the blood and mud from my face with water and soap aand maybe a little bit of make-up remover. I grabbed the concealer and applied him under my eyes and on the cut. I winced a bit but it was nothing like the things from before. I blended it out and did the same with my foundation. It really helps to know how to put on makeup if you face daily beating... especially if you have a boyfriend who would beat the hell out of that said person. I put all the make-up supplies back in the box, once I finished. After that, I headed back to Archie's room and pushed the box to the furthest corner of my bag. Archie can't find out about that.

It was two hours since Archie left and I just sat on the couch, waiting for him to just walk back in here. But he didn't... I stared at the door for probably another hour. _Why won't he come back?_ I slid down on the ground and pulled my knees to my chest. _What did I do wrong? I had to go back to dad... just to check up on him and make sure he won't beat me to death the next time he sees me._ I hugged myself more and felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

"great, the whole make up was for nothing" I mumbled, starting to sob again. I buried my face in my knees, my hands gripping my hair. I grabbed my phone and dialed Archie's number. I got send to mailbox immediately "h-hey Arch, I-I... I uh I don't... I don't know where you are b-but I... I miss you. I don't k-know what I did wrong so that... that you would leave b-but you will b-be back.... back by tomorrow morning... if you don't... don't, I d-don't know what to do anymore" I stammered and then just started sobbing more and just ended the voicemail before I turned into a sobbing mess.

**10**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Wednesday, 11th February 2020 

The night was a disaster. I slept for like a half hour before my phone clock went off and I had to shut it off to get ready for school. I got up and changed into some sweatpants and an oversized hoodie from Archie. So it was like double oversized, this way it was like double oversized. Covering the bruises, bags under my eyes, the cut, the black eye and my really drained out face will take a long time. I quickly got out the black box and headed to the bathroom. Before almost being finished, I heard the door to the bathroom opening. _Fuck!_ I quickly threw the things in the box and then hid it in a drawer.

"A-Archie!" I squeaked out, turning around and holding my hands behind my back "hey Jug..?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He still had his bag around his shoulder "hey..." I said and walked around the washbasin so we would stay at a certain distance "a-are we walking to school...? Like together...?" he nodded "okay, cool cool... Yeah really cool" I said, drumming my fingers on the washbasin and then walking out of the bathroom.

"do you want something for breakfast?" I asked, walking downstairs but Archie shook his head. I nodded and then went downstairs, Archie following me "okay I'm ready" I said, grabbing my backpack and looking up at Archie. He leaned on the stairs "You don't eat something? Have you eaten yesterday, for like dinner?" I shook my head "I'm eating after school, let it be like that, alright Archie? I can't talk about that in the morning. I'm tired and definitely not awake enough. Especially after last night, alright?"

He nodded and I sighted, walking out of the door. Archie followed me and locked the door "ugh... I'm sorry about yesterday Archie. For being out so long... it's just that dad wanted to me look around sometimes... it took longer than I thought, I'm sorry..." he shrugged "it's okay Juggy" Archie walked closer to me and intertwined our hands. We were silent for a while "between us is everything good... right...?" I asked and looked up at him "yes Jug. Between us is everything okay"

We arrived at school and shortly after that we parted ways.

I haven't seen Archie the whole school day. Archie would be at practice and I wanted to watch him. I already went there ten minutes earlier, mistake number one. I haven't told Archie I would come and watch, mistake number two. I didn't brought my phone with me, mistake number three. I leaned on the wall of the entrance from the gym and fidgeted with my fingers, waiting for Archie. But then I saw Reggie and the others heading towards me. I tried to hide myself on the side and pushed myself on the wall as much as possible.

"Jonsey, where are you?" Reggie called and I just closed my eyes and hoped that he didn't see me "you didn't think you could hide from me, did you?" I squinted my eyes open a bit. Showing fear or just kind of any emotion here would only make things worse. Reggie and his jocks came closer and soon I felt the first punch in my stomach. I bended over and held my stomach. I felt a second sharp pain in my face and then found myself on the ground. I felt more punches in my stomach. That wasn't new for me, I mean I often get punched and kicked from the others once I'm on the ground. What was new for me, was that it stopped after a short time.

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

I walked over to the gym and heard sounds... _Oh come on, another fight? This would be already the second one today._ I walked around the corner of the gym and my breath stopped. Black curly hair... Jughead. I ran over to them and punched Reggie in the face "get away from him" the other still kicked him and refused to do anything "leave him the hell alone!" I pushed each of them away and then ran over to Jughead and hesitantly grabbed his arm before pulling him in a tight hug. 

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

I still had my eyes squeezed shut and was curled up in a ball. It wasn't weird that I flinched when someone grabbed my arm... but it was gentle. I opened my eyes to see Archie. I breathed out relived but shakily and threw my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around me and I burried my face into his chest. I wanted to cry, so bad but I couldn't. Crying would only satisfy Reggie more. He wanted to get under my skin but I couldn't show him that.

"I'm sorry Juggy..." he whispered on the verge of tears "I'm so so sorry I wasn't here" I shook my head and looked up at him "no, it's not your fault Arch" I cupped his face with my hands and forced a smile on my face. I just had to keep this mask on, for Archie at least "I'm fine Arch, go to football practice and I will watch you, just as I planned it, okay?" he shook his head "no, I will drive you home, to mine" I giggled "you called your house home, like it's our home," I cleared my throat "anyways, I wanted to see you playing today" I pouted.

"you are hurt Juggy. I won't let you stay here when you just got beaten up. We will go home, you will have a check up, so that I'm sure that you're okay. After that we will cuddle and have a nap" I chuckled "you don't have to check me up. I'll have bruises on my arms, face, stomach... basically everywhere," I pulled away from him and traced with my fingers over my stomach, poking it here and there and flinched as a wave of pain rushed through my body "oh, there is a broken rib"

"from where the hell do you know that?" my forced smile fell as he asked that "I just do, okay? Let's go to yours" I straddled off of him completely and stood up, stumbling a bit and falling back into Archies arms. It spun around for a bit till I realised that I was a little lightheaded but nothing I couldn't deal with. _Due to Dad... and Mom... and the gangs... aaand Reggie... aaaaand Penny, I've gotten used to pain. It wasn't that bad anymore, Archie. I don't really feel any pain at all nowadays._ But of course, I couldn't say that to him.

"need a little help?" he asked and I just nodded. Archie picked me up and then sat me down on a bench. I looked at him confused, wrapping my arms around my stomach... since when do this damn kicks hurt so much, or like at all? "a-are you okay?" I asked, shaking "I am okay, are you though?" I nodded "are you sure? You just told me that you think that you have a broken rib and you're holding your stomach. I'll get you to the doctor's"

"no! No doctor" I shook my head Immediately "yes, we are going to the doctor's, Jughead" I shook my head again "no, I don't need a doctor. Let's just go home" I got up but stumbled back on the bench "see?? You can't even walk Jug-head" Archie was pissed "that was just because I got up too fast. I'm okay Archie, just need a short break and then we can go. I don't need to see a doctor" I looked away and only held my stomach tighter "yes, yes we do need to see a doctor" I shook my head "no. That's nothing here, really Archie. I don't need to see a fucking doctor"

"I'm taking you to the doctor's Jughead" I shook my head again "fine, since you can walk properly, you can walk home with no help" Archie stood up "no... fine, I need help. Can you...?" I looked pleading at him "why? You're fine, right?" I huffed "okay okay, fine! I'm not okay. Satisfied? I'm not fine BUT I don't need to see a damn doctor either!" he sighed relieved "thank you" Archie reached me his hand and pulled me up, then laid my arm around his neck for support "b-but we are not going to the doctors, okay?" Archie sighed but nodded. I sighed relieved "thanks, I really appreciate that Arch" he rolled his eyes "yeah yeah" we started walking but every step hurt like hell. Fucking broken rib or ribs... it could have been ribs as well. I don't know... I couldn't completely count it all.

"nope, I'm taking you to the doctor's" I shook my head "no no no no no Archie. I can't go to the doctor's" he sighed and stopped walking "why not Jug?" I sighed "firstly, they would ask questions of how that happened. Secondly, I have other injuries that weren't treated and maybe kind of didn't heal completely healthy" I mumbled but then spoke normal again "and last point, I can't pay the bills. If I go to the doctor's, they will have to make an X-Ray. If you didn't notice it Archie, I'm homeless, I don't have money for stupid doctor visits when I can already treat myself"

"just say the truth" I scoffed "what? Oh yeah bully's beat me up because they are homophobes and hate me for having a boyfriend, plus they hate me just because of where my father lives" Archie gave me a serious look, slowly getting angry "why not?" couldn't that just have been a joke from him? "it will only get worse. Just as much as this was caused by you, just because you fucking texted them back! That was the only thing I told you not to do! Doing something against this stuff, because just as I told you, it will get fucking wor-" I bended down and held my stomach "fuck!"

"I'll protect you babe" Archie crouched down and wrapped his arms around me "just admit it Jug. You need help" I looked down and shook my head "no and you can't protect me. You can't be here with me 24/7... and you will get hurt" I said softly and he gave me a soft kiss "I don't care about getting hurt.. but you went through enough stuff. Now it's my time to take something, okay? I want you to be safe and okay right now, that's all" Archie smiled softly at me. Honestly, what's up with him? Not that I complain but he ignored me the whole day and night and now this? "I can't let you get hurt... not because of me"

"I don't care about me, I'm though Jug. I can handle it, don't worry" he gave me a kiss on the forehead "but..." I held more onto him "but what Jug?" I groaned "wait- I can't stand anymore" I pleadingly looked at him "get on my back. I'll carry you over to the car" Archie bended down and helped me up. Once I was on him, he was carrying me up to the car while I held tight onto him and wrapped my arms loose around his neck.


	2. Orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares, the Andrews' being asses to Jughead and FP having another chance

**01**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Wednesday, 11th February 2020 

Archie lifted me up and then carried me to his car. He sat me down and buckled me up. After that he walked around the car and sat down on the drivers seat before he started driving "I don't want to go to the doctor's..." I mumbled after a while. I just really can't pay the doctor and I for sure won't let Archie or his dad do this. If it still hurts in a week, then I can consider going but it's probably not even that bad "fine" he said, turning the truck around "r-really...?" he nodded "yep" Archie pulled in the driveway and then got out of his car, slamming the door. After that, he just casually walked in his house. _What is up with him lately?_ I sighed and unbuckled myself. Then I got out of the car, which felt like it took an eternity. When I finally managed to get inside, Archie sat on the couch and watched TV "hey Arch...?" he didn't seem to move so I added, "could you please help me upstairs?"

"why should I? You're not hurt" he said, icecold. I swear, my blood froze. Archie never was THIS pissed before... but I took a deep breath and said calmly, "Arch, come on... you know that I'm hurt. Please help me upstairs, it's starts to really hurt" I whined and Archie finally sighed, getting up from the couch. He walked up to me and then lifted me up, making a yelp escape my mouth but I quickly covered my mouth. Archie carried me upstairs and then set me down in hi- our room "thanks..." I mumbled, looking down. I didn't like the fact that Archie is mad at me... I don't want him to leave me, to just push me out of the house again "you're welcome" he still sounded cold but it was already softer "can we lay down?" I asked and Archie nodded. He pulled off his trousers and his hoodie. Then he walked over to me and wrapped his fingers on the hem of my hoodie "should I help you undress?" he asked, already pulling my hoodie off a bit. My breath stopped and I shook my head, holding it down.

"l-let the hoodie on, please..." I whimpered softly, _God what's gotten into me. I'm not this emotional person_ "okay" Archie said and slowly pulled off my trousers, then sat down on the bed. Firstly, I will have bruises on my stomach and I don't need Archie to worry nor do I need the football team on my nerves because Archie tried to protect me again and there might be other things I don't want him to see. I sat down beside Archie and looked at him but when he noticed, he laid down and faced the wall. I laid down as well and got under the bedsheets. It was still cold, Archie wasn't there. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep but I couldn't.

"Archie...?" I asked but it was barely a whisper. I only got a "mhm" as a response, signaling me that he is still awake as well "can we cuddle...?" Archie turned around and then wrapped his arms around me. The smell of his cologne consumed me and I smiled, knowing that I would fall asleep in about two minutes. I just grew this huge feeling of safety when I'm in Archie's arms and honestly? It scares the heck out of me... no one bothered to stick around for too long. Everyone left at some point and I don't want Archie to leave. Hell, he makes everything so much easier and he is so loveable and caring and kind... gosh I love him so much. I don't want him to leave, I can't screw this up...

I cuddled up more and mumbled a "I love you" I closed my eyes and felt a kiss on my forehead "love you too" I smiled a bit and then soon fell asleep. This always happens before going to sleep, exchanging the I love you's and then he always kisses me on the forehead... and also to that, I got used to. Archie is making me feel safe and that feeling scares me. I'm not used to be calm and not worry if someone could burst into the room and use me. I'm not made for feeling safe... I always had to worry if dad comes in my room and would want to beat up my sister and - after mom left with her - me. _**I'm not safe-** but Archie is safety. **He will leave-** but he loves me. **Then he will hurt you at least-** no, he won't. He is kind to me, he would never hurt me. **Come on, this is only an act from Reggie to get close to you-** no! Shut up! He loves and cares for me! Archie is different, he... he cares for me. He isn't leaving. _

_Get the thoughts out of your head Jughead! Don't believe your voice, don't do it... it's going to be okay... don't believe it. Archie cares for you, he is not going to leave you. Archie will stay, you can feel safe with him._

**∼ 3rd Person ∼**

As the boy was shaking and turning, Archie hasn't had a good sleep either. A nightmare was tormenting him. _He found himself in a dark room, a dim light was set in the middle of it. But the only thing he was able to see, was a shallow tied to a chair. The redhead slowly walked closer and with time, he recognized the features of a person. It was shaking, hair wet and sticking on the forehead, you could hear some thick liquid drop on the floor every few second._

 _"hello?" the ginger approached the figure hesitantly and lifted up their chin, horror filling his face as he saw nothing but his boyfriend "Juggy??" he asked shocked, crouching down in front of the boy "hey hey..." he said, panicking as the other didn't reply. Archie began to shake his boyfriend and wanted him to open his eyes but he wouldn't "Jughead?? Hey, come on. Open your eyes, smile Juggy, please..." the redhead begged. He fiddled in the pockets of the jacket from Jughead and got out his switchblade. Then he started to cut the rope and free his boyfriend._

_As soon as the last piece of rope was cut, the boy fell forward right in Archie's arms. He sat down and placed him on his lap, cupping his face "hey, hey Juggy open your eyes, please" the redhead begged but the other wouldn't move "come on, please open your eyes. I'm here, I'm here b-babe, I'm right, right here" Archie started sobbing. He lifted him up and tried to find a way out of- out of wherever they were "Juggy come on... open your eyes..." he begged again and then he finally felt the boy move. Archie immediately stopped moving and looked at his boyfriend "Juggy?" Jughead squinted his eyes slightly open "A-Arc-..." his voice trialed off as drowsiness hit him once again and forced Jughead to close his eyes "I'm right here babe, everything is okay. Where does it hurt?" the redhead asked, running now. At some point, he reached a door. He quickly pushed it open and was hit with a bright light. His clothes were soaked with blood, Jughead's blood. And now, in the light, he observed the boy. He was covered with bruises and cuts, blood left his body. He looked pale and was icecold. His eyes were closed again and his chest didn't rise up nor did it fall down, his body in general didn't move. Archie's heart skipped a beat, panic rose in him "no no no no no, Jug come on" he begged, cried, sobbed. Archie did everything to make his boyfriend wake up but Jughead wouldn't open his eyes "Juggy, b-babe... c-come... come on. Wake up, p-please..." the redhead crouched down again and looked at his boyfriend. He put his index and middle finger on the boys neck to feel if he had a pulse, he didn't._

Archie jolted up, his breath heavy and his body in sweat. He put his hand on his chest and frantically looked around his room till his eyes spotted the raven haired boy. The redhead grabbed the boys wrist and felt for his pulse, sighing relieved when he felt one, he's alive. Of course he is, but Archie just needed to make sure that it was only a nightmare. With another sigh, he leaned back and just watched the boy sleep. Jughead stirred and moved but he always did, it was what Archie got used to. Also, if it were only 6 days, he got used to Jughead always moving and sometimes accidentally kicking him but it wasn't anything hard. Archie sighed once again and then started playing with his boyfriends hair, watching him sleep while calming down. These nightmares are getting on his nerves but he didn't want to worry the raven haired boy because Jughead already had his own problems, including nightmares.

**02**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Wednesday, 11th February 2020 

Jughead looked so peaceful when he slept, even though he moved. I played with his hair for God knows how long but then I accidentally tugged too hard and he moaned. _Oh my god-_ My face flushed red as I didn't move for a few seconds, looking if he would wake up. He didn't, thankfully. I breathed out relieved and continued to play with his hair but then his eyes fluttered open. My blush immediately darkened... _did he feel this..? Did he notice that I-_

I got interrupted by Jughead asking, "can you help me downstairs? I'm hungry..." like on cue, his stomach grumbled. I chuckled "okay, you want to put on clothes or stay like that?" I asked, putting on new sweatpants but he shook his head "I'm staying like that" I nodded and pulled him out of the bed. But he hissed out in pain and I mumbled a "sorry" before lifting him up "it's okay, not your fault" I nodded and walked downstairs "thanks" Jug said as I sat him down on the couch "can you make some eggs and bacon?" he asked whiny. Yep, he is always whiny when he is sick or hurt. I smiled, nodding and walked in the kitchen. I made some bacon and eggs - just as he liked -, put them on a plate and walked back in the living room but when I arrived, Jughead laid on the couch and slept. I put the plate on the table beside the couch and then sat down on the couch and pulled his head on my lap. Then I made on the TV and watched, while playing with his hair again.

A bit later, Jughead's eyes fluttered open again and I reached him the plate "still hungry?" he nodded, sitting up with a groan and grabbing the plate. After stuffing in the first big portion of eggs, he smiled and mumbled a "thanks" before taking the next portion of eggs "you're welcome" I simply said back. I just watched and smiled while he ate. Some people maybe say that his eating patterns are a bit weird but he is still adorable, okay? Soon Jughead seemed to notice me looking at him because he stopped eating and looked at me. "what is?" I shrugged and gave him a peck on the cheek "nothing" he nodded and then laid the fork down on the plate - which already laid on his lap - before cupping my face with his hands, pulling me in a kiss. _Oh my god, eww there was something hard, was that bacon? Please let it be bacon..._ "I love you" he mumbled, after pulling away from me "I love you too but please tell me that it was bacon in your mouth..." he covered his mouth with his hand "oh god, I'm so sorry. But yeah, it was bacon" and then something else happened "let me get it out" a smirk spread across his face as he connected our lips again. His tongue slipped in and my cheeks heated up as a moan escaped my lips. _Fuck_

"what are you doing?" I asked, while our lips were still connected "lemme lu ma lord" (let me do my work) he said and his tongue still did his work in my mouth, damn was he good, where did he learned that stuff...? The plate almost fell from his lap, so I grabbed it and put it on the table beside the couch. Jughead turned himself more towards me, deepening the kiss. But then, he suddenly pulled away and smiled at me "got it out, here" he stuck out his tongue and showed me a piece of bacon, before closing his mouth and chewing "you're someone..." I chuckled and he gave me the most goofy smile "now give me my plate, I'm still hungry" I reached over to the table and got the plate before giving it over to him. He grabbed it and instantly began eating. I chuckled and gave him a smile, he is just too adorable to be mad at... I sighed softly and rested my head on his shoulder. After he finished, he put down the fork and the knife and then leaned his head on mine. I smiled and slowly fell asleep again.

**03**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Wednesday, 11th February 2020 

Archie fell asleep and I did too but then woke up as I heard a clink! My eyes snapped open and for a short moment I was back at dad's. I saw him over me and he had a beer bottle in his hand. But when I blinked a few times, I saw that it was just the plate which fell down. _I am at Archie's... no need to worry Jughead..._ I sighed and slid away from Archie, down to the ground. Fuck, that shit hurts like hell. I groaned and looked around me. The plate splintered in thousand pieces. I didn't want to bother Archie, he slept so peaceful... so I started picking up the pieces.

Everytime I grabbed a piece, my stomach hurt like hell and yeah, it was worse than I thought. But I wouldn't want to bother Archie. I groaned and leaned back, just a little break and then I'll continue to clean this up. But then Archie stirred awake and I panicked. 

"Jug? What happened...?" _fuck_ but nevertheless, I tried to stay calm, "everything is fine Archie. Just sleep, alright?" but Archie didn't go back to sleep and instead looked down and saw me "let me help you" I sighed but nodded. He got up and then helped me to pick up the rest of the pieces.

"you really don't need to help me..." I mumbled but he shook his head "yes I do, you're hurt" Archie got up and threw the bigger pieces in the trash, then got a dustpan and a broom while I just watched him. "Juggy" he threw me out of my thoughts and I blinked a few times. He had the dustpan reached out to me but it needed a few seconds before I realized what he wanted from me "the pieces... from your hand, put them in the dustpan" as I still didn't react, Archie carefully opened my hands and then grabbed one piece after the other out of my hands. When he put off the last one, he gasped "Jug, you cut yourself! Look at your hands!" Archie yelled worried. I just stared at them, blankly... and then I zoned out again... I just watched. It was like I was looking down at the whole scene. Archie, with the dustpan in his hand, while staring at my hands. Archie was right, I had accidentally cut myself a few times.

When I came back to myself, I was sat on the couch again and Archie kneed down in front of me, cupping and carefully wrapping two bandages around them.

"thanks Archie" I mumbled and he just smiled softly "you're welcome, does it hurt?" I shook my head and he nodded, standing up,. He put the first aid kit away. I didn't even realize that he had gotten one. When he came back, he pecked me on the lips before sitting down on the couch. I wrapped my arms around him and smiled, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"can I sleep on you?" Archie smiled and held me closer "Juggy, you never have to ask me if you can sleep on me, you know that, just sleep" he mumbled, giving me a kiss on the forehead "o-okay..." I slowly moved on his lap but stopped when it hurt too much "should I help you?" he offered and I nodded, squeaking when Archie helped me. Once we both got comfortable, he started playing with my hair and I closed my eyes, falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. Honestly... over the past six days, I slept so much. I feel like I finally get the sleep back from the last few years. At the trailer, I could never sleep more than one hour straight since I had to be prepared for dad coming home. Plus nightmares kept me awake as well. I couldn't sleep properly for three years by now but with Archie it seemed so easy.

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Jughead moved a bit more again, so I tried to calm him down by rocking him softly. His hands clenched into fists and he gripped harder onto me. I rubbed his back and bend down to kiss his cheek. This all seemed to help and calm him down again bur then he started moving again. I continued to rock him and rub his back softly but it didn't seem to work. He started sweating more and had an uneasy look on his face. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he looked wide eyed at me. He was definitely hyperventilating and on the verge of a panic attack.

"you okay babe?" I asked, kissing him on the forehead and he nodded "ye-heah, just a bad, bad dream.." he stuttered out, trying to calm down and take deep breathes. His tucking on my shirt kept remaining and he nuzzled his face in the crock of my neck again. I kissed him on the forehead and then continued to rock him till he calmed down. But even after he breathed calm again and his tears dried, he still tucked on my shirt. It was around 9pm when he looked up at me again. "everything is okay?" I asked again and he nodded "it was really only a dream Archie... no need to worry about me" he mumbled "but I do worry about you" I whispered and Jug smiled, pecking me on the lips, but then he pulled away, laying his head on my chest instead. He closed his eyes again and I kissed his forehead softly. Jug finally let go of tucking on my shirt and instead wrapped his arms around me.

"can we skip school tomorrow..?" he whispered and I kissed him on the forehead again "of course babe" _if he doesn't want to go tomorrow, then I won't force him... not after today, if only he would have told me sooner..._ "I'm sorry about the plate... I can buy you a new one if you want" I shook my head "no need to, its okay, don't worry about a stupid plate, Jug" he looked up at me "you sure?" I nodded "yes, I'm sure" I cupped his face with my hands and pulled him in another kiss "can we go to bed? ...But you gotta have to help me with it" he asked, before I kissed him again. I smiled and picked him up, bridal style. Jug giggled and kissed me on the cheeks before hiding his face in the crotch of my neck "looks like someone likes to be carried" I chuckled "maybe?" he smirked "you're a dork, but cute... that's unfair" his cheeks turned a light pink. _Adorable_

In my room, I took off my sweatpants so that I was left in my boxers. Jughead always kept his hoodie on so I didn't bother to ask if I should help him to put it off. We walked over to my bed and he sat on my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck "when is your dad actually coming home?" he asked after a while and I shrugged "I don't know, somewhere over the weekend. He said that he is finished on Friday but stays till Saturday and then has to see how the traffic is but he knows that you're staying here... and that we are together" he nodded "I know" I started kissing his neck but he pulled away "Arch..." I stopped and looked worried at him "yes babe?" he bit his bottom lip "can you stop kissing my neck? I'm kind of tired..." I nodded and laid down, pulling him with me. He smiled and rocked closer while I wrapped my arms around him "is everything okay?" I nodded "yep, I'm fine" he looked up at me "you sure?" I sighed but nodded again "yes. I'm fine Jughead" silence... "o-oh okay..." he closed his eyes and I rocked him again "I can sleep again, or does it bother you?" I shrugged "I don't know, can you?" he nodded and squeaked out a "o-okay" before closing his eyes.

**04**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Wednesday, 11th February 2020 

"is everything okay?" I asked and he nodded "yep, I'm fine" _that doesn't sound too convincing..._ "you sure?" he sighed but nevertheless nodded again "yes. I'm fine Jughead" _fuck... he is mad at me. I made him mad again. But the only thing I wanted to do was make sure that he is okay. Why is he so short tempered over the last time? I mean, all I do is try to make sure that he is fine and comfortable and that I'm not a burden to him... isn't that enough?_

"o-oh okay..." I closed my eyes, _come on don't cry now. He probably didn't even mean it like that._ Archie started rocking me and my thoughts stopped for a moment "I can sleep again, or does it bother you?" he shrugged "I don't know, can you?" _okay, he is annoyed from me. No big deal Jughead. Everyone is mad at everyone at some point, even the people Archie loves. It's nothing to worry about. No fucking big deal._ I nodded and squeaked out a "o-okay" before closing my eyes again. _Just go to sleep Jughead, don't think too much about the stuff that Archie just said. He isn't mad at you... it just left his mouth on accident, he isn't really mad at you, no no no that isn't possible. _I gripped on my hair. Archie was asleep by now. _No, he's definitely not annoyed from me. He loves me... Archie is my boyfriend and he's so caring and always asks if I'm okay and that I'm comfortable with everything..._ But no matter how much I tried to get myself to sleep and stop those thoughts, I couldn't. Not after what just happened... I just can't get the thoughts out of my head. I groaned frustrated and sat up. Then got up and walked over to the bathroom. In there, the thoughts only got worse.__

____

____

_Why don't you just let me in peace? He loves me for fucking god!_ Tears streamed down my face and I gripped harder on my hair. _Dammit... they are lies Jughead... you're telling yourself lies... come on, breath in and out... in and out... **What is wrong with you? You can't even take it that your boyfriend is annoyed with you.** _ I shook my head. _That's not true... **Oh it isn't? Tell me, what is it then, huh? **_I shook my head again _Stop... please stop... I only want to sleep... please stop... **Why should I? I'm only telling the truth. He doesn't care about you. He is only tolerating you because he needs you for something.** _ I shook my head and loud sobs left my mouth. _Stop... please stop saying those things. I only want to go to Archie and sleep... please leave me alone... **You know a way out of it. You've done it before. You know where it is. Just go and grab the blade.** _ I shook my head _I don't want to **but it will help. It did the last time you've done it, right? You felt better after it, right? After you turned the emotional pain into physical one, right? It was easier to handle. Come on, one cut won't hurt. After you've done it, you're going to clean the blade and your forearm and wrap it up with a bandage. No worse. You won't regret it and you know it.** _ _****_

_****__** ** _

_****__** ** _

Yeah, that is what happened. I crawled over to the other side of the room and blindly dug in one of the drawers for the pack of new razor blades. My legs were trembling and when I finally found a pack, I ripped it open. _**Come on, do it already.** _ With trembling hands, I finally dragged the blade over my forearm. I couldn't do it too high because if I did, Archie would surely notice it. After the blood dried, I got up and cleaned my forearm with water. Then I cleaned the blade with water and with disinfectant, no idea if that is right but I actually don't really care. As long as the blood is gone, it's fine. I walked over to the door again and opened the first aid kit. I wrapped a bandage around the cut. Well, it didn't really draw attention since I already have two bandages on my hands, thanks to that stupid plate, and I wear a hoodie the whole time anyways.

I put the blade back in the package and then turned off the lights of the bathroom. I was greeted with darkness again. While I was making my way back to Archie's room, I may have stumbled into the wall one or two times. But eh, that's usual when I'm tired. After the thoughts were gone again, I was indeed tired. I crashed onto Archie's bed and slid into his arms. With a tired smile, I closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.

**05**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Thursday, 12th February 2020 

When I woke up, Jug was still sleeping in my arms. I rolled around a bit so that I was able to see the time... 7.08am, no wonder that he isn't awake. I chuckled slightly and then just watched him sleep. I'm no creep, he is just gorgeous, okay? Sadly, Jug soon stirred and not a minute later, his eyes fluttered open. He had this awful adorable smile on his face and kissed me. I chuckled. "morning sleepyhead" _gosh he is even cuter with his messy hair, damn_ "morning Arch" I kissed him and then again and once again, pulling him on top of me. He giggled, and God I could die for that giggle. We kissed more and then it got heated. Somehow I ended up getting hard. He's hot, okay?? Yeah, Jughead was sucking on my neck and I was tilting my neck to give him more space. But then he went back to kiss my lips. He added tongue and fuck, the kisses got sloppy. He moved a bit and just then I realized that I got hard.

"sorry if my dick pokes you" I apologized but he just shrugged "it's alright, don't worry" we kissed more but slowly it was really starting to hurt "Juggy" I whined "oh..." he simply said, sitting up. Jughead put off my trousers and just wanted to get, you know going, but I stopped him, gently grabbing his wrist where he winced. Dump glass shards "babe, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I was going to do it myself in the bathroom like I did all the years before. Besides, your fingers are still in bandages" a chuckle left his mouth "you sure?" he asked and I nodded "I'm sure, if you are not ready than it's completely okay. I can wait Juggy" he nodded and got off of me, sitting down on the bedsheets. I stood up and kissed him on the forehead "I will be right back" he nodded and I headed in the bathroom.

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

_I'm a bad boyfriend. No, I'm a horrible one. I can't even do this one thing for him! Why am I so uptight?!_ I pulled my knees to my chest. _Why am I so fucking wrong? Why can't I be a normal boyfriend?!_ I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold the tears back. 

"Jug I'm do- Jug? Are you okay?" Archie came back in his room, concern in his face "what is wrong?" he sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around me... and I flinched.

_**Stupid.**_

"what is wrong?" he asked again but I just shook my head "I'm sorry..." a single tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it but Archie nevertheless saw it "please just tell me what's wrong" Archie said, taking my hands but I just flinch again.

_**Asshole.**_

"hey... I'm sorry Jug... can you please tell me what's going on?" he asked but I was... I don't know. I was zoning out. Come on Jughead, keep touch to the reality.

_**Weirdo.**_

I shook my head "Juggy, you're scaring me"

_**Bad boyfriend.**_

"hey, what's wrong?"

_**Liar.**_

"Juggy"

_**Stupid brat.**_

"Jughead"

_**Ugly.**_

"Jughead come on, talk to me"

_**Fatass.**_

I stood up and covered my ears "Shut up!" Archie looked taken back by me yelling "okay, sorry.." I shook my head "not you!" _fuck, this is getting out of hand._

_**Lost boy.**_

I covered my ears again. _Don't listen to them... come on Jughead, ground yourself. Okay, four things you see. Archie. The bed. The lamp on the nightdresser. The window._

__

__

_**That's stupid.**_

_Three things you hear. Archie talking. The birds outside. A car getting started._

_**It won't work.**_

_Two things you smell. Archie's cologne. Eggs?_

_**Weirdo.**_

"Juggy, babe, hey listen to me" Archie pulled me in his lap and started playing with my hair "hey, shh... what happened?"

_**Bad boyfriend.**_

_One thing you can touch. Archie._ I closed my eyes and took deep breathes, at least I tried to "shh... everything is okay Juggy. I'm here, just tell me what's happening right now... what's happing inside of your little head?" he asked softly, not once stopping to play with my hair.

"shh... you're okay. I'm here Juggy... breathe... just breathe. You can do that, right?" I nodded. _4 seconds in, 7 seconds hold and 8 seconds out. 4 seconds in, 7 seconds hold and 8 seconds out._

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Jug was slowly calming down after around a half hour. I still played with his hair and rocked him softly. He still hasn't told me what happened but as long as he is okay, I don't care. 

"you better?" I asked softly after a bit and he sniffed "I'm sorry that you had to see this..." he mumbled "Juggy, babe, there is nothing to be sorry for. You don't need to apologize, just tell me what that was, okay?" he sighed "it's nothing..." he straddled off of my lap but I pulled him back "Juggy... that wasn't nothing. I was worried sick, you didn't respond to me" he nodded "fine... I had have a beginning of a panic attack..." _this was only a beginning?_ But nevertheless, I nodded and cupped his face and pulling his face a bit closer "why haven't you told me?"

"I was scared... I'm already such a bad boyfriend, I don't need you to have another reason for leaving me..." I shook my head "I'm not leaving you, no one is leaving anyone here, okay? I love you Jug. I wouldn't even have the heart to leave you" he looked up at me, staying quiet for a bit but then whispered, "you sure?" I nodded "of course Juggy, I will never ever leave you, pinky promise" he started laughing "pinky promise?" I nodded, holding up my little finger "no one is ever going to separate us"

**06**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Thursday, 12th February 2020 

We had laid down on the bed again and now we were just looking at eachother, smiling, while I still played with his hair. Jug was calm again, fortunately. He looked up at me and smiled then kissed me but shortly after that he pulled away again "I'm hungry" I chuckled "fair point, me too" he nodded and slowly sat up "are we going downstairs or like.. outside to maybe pops?" he grinned and how could I say no to this? "we can go to pops, we haven't been outside for a while" he smile, nodding. I sat up as well and gave him a peck on the cheek before Jug had the chance to get up but I could see that he was scrunching his face, it probably still hurts... I quickly stood up as well and supported him "need a little help?" he just simply nodded, so I sat him down on the bed again before I walked to the drawer and got myself new jeans and a white shirt. Then I crouched down in front of Jug's bag "why don't we get your stuff in a drawer at some point?" I asked but he shook his head.

"that's not needed..." I sighed but nodded "okay, what do you want to wear?" he shrugged "just give me some sweatpants and a new hoodie" I nodded again and tossed him the first things I found. Standing up, I asked if he wanted help but he shook his head and said that he would be just fine by doing it by himself, in the bathroom, so he grabbed his clothes and then slowly walked over to the bathroom.

After he wasn't back, even after five minutes, I walked over and knocked on the door "Juggy? Are you okay? Do you need help?" I heard shuffling "uh no, thanks though but I'm fine" he came out of the bathroom only seconds after that. I pulled him in a kiss and then lifted him up before he could protest "I'll drive us, 'kay?" I said, already walking downstairs "okay but you don't have to carry me the whole time" I shrugged "I will still do it" Jug smiled and then kissed my cheek. I smiled and then walked outside, sitting him down on the passenger seat "thanks" I nodded and got in the driver's seat, resting my hand on his thigh while driving over to pops. I hummed a bit to the song on the radio, while Jug just stared out of the window.

"you okay Juggy?" I asked, kissing his cheek. He hummed, not breaking eye contact with the window. Seriously, is this more interesting than me? "you sure?" he nodded "yeah yeah, I'm okay" he smiled and finally looked at me "I promise Arch, I'm fine" I hummed, saying "okay Juggy" and he nodded before going back to staring out of the window. When we arrived at pops, Jug already opened the door and wanted to get out, where I quickly headed over to him and helped him.

"y'know, I feel really stupid when you always have to help me" he mumbled, looking down while we were walking over to pops already. I looked at him, confused "why? You're hurt, I need to help you. Now come on, you're just hungry" he chuckled "yeah... that's probably it..." I helped Jug in and then sat him down at the back of pops, just like usual. Jug seemed a bit uneasy, looking around and probably fidgeting with his fingers or the hem of his sweatshirt under the table "you okay?" I asked and he nodded, looking back at me "nothing, I uh I just like to know who is here, that's all" he continued to look around again "okay Juggy" he looked down and my smile fell "what's wro-"

"ah my favourite boys are here again" pops said cheery "the usual?" he asked and Jughead nodded silently. I only nodded as well then. We both just sat in silence now, so I stood up and slid down beside him. I grabbed his hand but he withdrew it. I looked at him confused, whispering, "what's wrong?" he shrugged "n-nothing... just... what if Reggie sees us? Or other Bulldogs? I c-can't Archie... I'm sorry..." I smiled slightly, still whispering, "don't apologize. It's okay, Juggy. You could have just told me, than I wouldn't have tried anything" he nodded "you s-sure?" he asked again and I only nodded.

Pops soon came with the food and we started eating, although that Jug seemed to have problems eating and stopped after the half of the burger and left his fries untouched.

"you full?" I asked and he gave me a small nod before leaning on my shoulder. When I finished, he was almost asleep, eyes closed but I knew that he was awake. I smiled and nudged him "hey sleepyhead, you should maybe sleep at home, don't ya think?" he nodded "yeah... can you drive?" he asked and I nodded "of course" he smiled and then I helped him up. I payed and then wrapped an arm around him. Back in the car, he finally spoke again "I'm sorry... about this at pops. I mean, the holding hands thingy Archie... I just..." I shook my head and put my right hand on his thigh again, while I drove with the other "Juggy, I already told you, you don't need to apologize. It's fine, I get it. You're scared and that's okay. Reggie - and many other people - bullied you and I don't know, how I would react to that, okay? But you really don't need to be scared of holding hands in public. I'm here Jug, I'm here for you I-"

"stop the car Archie." he interrupted, putting his hand on mine, and I looked at him confused but nevertheless obliged, driving to the side of the car and stopping the motor then "why?" I asked and he sighed "you were going to give me a speech again and then you won't concentrate on driving. I don't want us to have a car accident and end up in a hospital, okay?" I rolled my eyes "I won't" he raised an eyebrow "yes you would, you always do" I sighed, nodding "okay fine, maybe I do but seriously Jug, we live in the 21st century. It's okay to be gay" he scoffed "no, what I mean is-" he interrupted me once again "I get it Archie, no need to explain. I'm the one with the words and you're the one with the actions" he smiled and then kissed me "now, you can drive again or is there another TED-talk you have to do about 'it's okay to be gay' today?" I chuckled "no, I'm done" he nodded and I started driving again

Soon I steeled in the driveway in front of my house. Jug got out of the car and leaned on it, so I quickly headed over to him and wrapped my arms around him, then lifted him up "you don't have to hurry, we have time Archie" I nodded "nevertheless I'm happy that you hurry up because it fucking hurts. Do you have some painkillers?" I chuckled but nodded "I think, we should have some" he smiled but then straddled off of me to stand by himself "I don't need to be carried, I'm fine" _yeah sure, that's why you just asked me for painkillers and Forsythe Pendleton Jughead Jones the third never takes anesthetics until it's serious. If Jug still complains in three days, I'm driving him to the doctor, even if I have to carry him there on my own._

"we both know that you aren't" I finally replied and he sighed but nodded. I kissed him on the neck and as soon as he went limp in my arms, I picked him up again. Yup, I'm sneaky but I had to, don't blame me, otherwise he wouldn't have let me. I unlocked the door and then sat him down on the couch. I quickly headed to the bathroom to grab some painkillers and after that, I filled a glass with water in the kitchen before going over to Jug and reaching both things to him. He swallowed the painkillers and then drank the water. After that, he stood up "let's go to bed now, okay?" I nodded "okay but do I have to worry that you sleep like all day?" he chuckled and shook his head "nah, I just don't get much sleep at night, that's all..." he gave me a short smile and then kissed me, where I kissed back but then I stumbled and we landed on the couch, me on top of him. Jug chuckled and rested his hands on my waist.

"are we needy today?" I asked teasingly and he only kissed me harder "shut up" I chuckled and grabbed his wrists, pushing them over his head, in between the cushions. We continued to kiss a bit but then he flinched and I immediately pulled away "everything okay?" I asked, getting off of him and sitting down beside him. He only nodded, mumbling a short "sorry" I shook my head "don't apologize, what hurts?" I asked next and he swallowed "no-nothing, I..." he sighed and started speaking again "...my rib hurt again and I...I just- I'm sorry..." he sat up as well and rubbed his hand over his eyes.

"okay..." I said and he stood up, looking at me "I'm hungry and I'm going to eat something, okay?" I nodded and he started walking - stumbled but luckily caught himself. I chuckled and watched as he walked over to the kitchen.

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

"tell me if you need help, okay?" Archie yelled from the couch while I was looking for what to eat "yeah yeah but I can handle this by myself" I yelled back but then added to myself, "hopefully..." _okay, maybe it does hurt more than I told Archie..._ "okay, I'm here if you need me, Juggy" I nodded, although that he couldn't see it, and then decided to go with cereals "hey, do you want something too?" I asked, already grabbing the milk out of the fridge but Archie said that he was fine so I nodded and got cereals in a bowl and then poured the milk in it. After that, I grabbed a spoon and walked back to Archie but suddenly, he pulled me in his lap, which resulted in a bit of milk swapping over and on his shirt.

"Archie the milk!" I said, trying to steady the bowl so not even more milk would drop. Archie laughed as well and then pulled me in a soft kiss, taking the bowl from my hands. I pulled away "what are you doing?" he chuckled, saying "feeding you" while already leading the spoon to my mouth. I smiled and then opened my mouth. After around half of the bowl was empty, I was full and decided to grab the bowl and put it on the table beside the couch. Then I sat back down on Archie's lap while pulling him in a kiss. He kissed back and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Archie pulled me closer and started kissing down my neck. I tilted it a bit, so that he would have more space while biting my bottom lip. But when he started nibbling on it, my stomach growled again. Like, seriously? I just ate and was full... why is my stomach so complicated? Archie stopped and pulled away "you should eat babe" I sighed "but that's so good... you are good..." he chuckled "well, thank you babe but your tummy here is growling. You should eat more" he said, poking my stomach where I giggled, then sighed again "you kissing me is better"

"oh really?" he asked teasingly, softly kissing my neck again "mhm..." I completely sank into it but then my stomach growled again and I groaned, pulling away "okay, maybe a bit more" Archie smiled and hummed, saying "I knew it" I nodded, grabbing the cereal bowl but wrapping my legs around his torso so that I wouldn't fall "you want something too?" I asked, putting a full spoon in my mouth "I'm good babe, you eat" I nodded and continued eating till the bowl was empty. When I finished, I put the bowl back on the table and then turned back around to Archie.

"so, do you want to continue with what you did before Andrews?" he smirked "I thought, you would have never asked" he pulled me closer, still being careful though, and kissed my neck again, then started sucking... yup, definitely getting hickeys there. Archie started getting hard, _seriously why? These are just kisses... sure, it feels good and so on but I don't get hard because of that._ I cupped his face and moved Archie's face to kiss me on the lips.

"babe, I'm getting really hard right now" Archie whined and I chuckled, pulling away "yeah, I can feel that but don't worry" I kissed him again but he pulled away "you sure?" I nodded and then kissed him again. Archie whined every here and then, so I unbuckled his jeans "you don't have to do that babe" he said and I swallowed, nodding "y-yeah... I'm okay with that, don't worry" _I mean, if I don't get used to it, how am I going to be a good boyfriend?_ "okay but if you're uncomfortable, you stop immediately, alright?" I nodded, swallowing again but then getting into business.

Archie's jeans were off and just as I wanted to pull off his boxers, the ringtone of my phone went off and I stopped in my tracks, looking around. Archie looked at me and cupped my face, turning me to face him again "don't, it will ruin this..." I nodded, swallowing "I-I know... let's forget about it" Archie smiled but he was still hard... _I wanted to, I wanted to get this done, to make him feel good... but I just couldn't. I don't know, why only the ringing of my phone changed that whole thing but it did._

"I-I... I'm sorry... I can't..." I stood up from his lap and looked down "where are you going babe?" Archie asked, looking up at me confused "sorry... I shouldn't let myself- I..." he stood up and cupped my face "hey, it's okay" I shook my head "it's not... I always disappoint you" he scoffed "are you kidding me? You would never disappoint me Juggy" he sighed and then added "come on, we are going upstairs and then cuddle in my bed" Archie said, grabbing me by my waist and then pulling me upstairs and into his room. We laid down on his bed and Archie wrapped his arms around me "Arch...?" I asked after a while and he hummed in response "can we... uh can we please get rid off my phone or change my number or something like that? Because I don't want it to ruin even more... and I need you to stay... more than anything Archie... you won't leave me, right?" he shook his head "I won't leave babe" I nodded but then looked up at him "promise?" he nodded "promise" Archie started combing my hair. I sniffed and closed my eyes, burying my face in his chest "I'm going to sleep, okay?"

"of course Juggy"

**07**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Thursday, 12th February 2020 

After Jug was asleep, I carefully untangled myself from him and then stood up. I pulled on grey sweatpants and then grabbed my guitar case, heading downstairs. I went in the garage and practiced a bit. I don't know how much time passed but it must have been more then one hour because I could't feel my fingertips anymore. Just sometimes, I get so caught up in a song that I forget to take a break and that results in me not feeling my fingers for a few minutes after I stop for once.

But when I opened the door to my room, I gasped. Jughead was sitting beside the bed, crying while looking at his phone. He had his headphones on (having one of his sad songs on, yup heard from the other end of the room), which was probably why he hasn't noticed me yet. He had his arm over his mouth to muffle the sobs and his knees pulled to his chest. After I had approached him, I snatched his phone from him and he flinched at first before pulling his headphones away "what did I tell you about reading those??" I yelled and before even thinking, I threw it out of the open window and on the road.

"I-I don't know... I... I just wanted to... I-" he sobbed and his whole body shook. I sighed, walking over to him. I couldn't be mad at him any longer. I wrapped my arms around him and Jughead sobbed once again, burying his face in my chest. I sighed and picked him up, walking in the bathroom and then sitting him down on the carpet in front of the bathtub.

"what are... what are you doing?" he asked, looking up at me and starting to cough while trying to inhale "we are going to take a relaxing bath together Jug, so strip off please" I said, running a warm bath for us. He nodded but just stay on the ground, sniffing before asking, "c-can you help?" while struggling to get out of his pants. I nodded and carefully stripped them off of him. Just as I wanted to pull off his sweatshirt, he stopped me and shook his head rapidly.

"Juggy, you can't bathe in your sweatshirt" I said, while still tucking on his sweatshirt. He shook his head, his breath picking up again. I shook my head, pulling his head in my chest again "hey, shh... it's okay... what is wrong? Why can't I put off your shirt?"

"Ar- I..." he pulled away from me and looked up at me "p-promise to not hate me, okay?" I nodded "of course, I would never hate you Juggy and now, can I?" I asked, tucking on the hem of his sweatshirt again. He hesitated but then nodded. I slowly took off his sweatshirt and gasped when I saw cuts on his forearms...

"Juggy..." he quickly hid them, looking down "c-can we talk about that later...?" I nodded and then stopped the water. _I shouldn't worry about this right now, him calming down was more important right now._ I picked him up again and sat him in the tub. After getting rid off my clothes, I got in it as well. I sat behind Jug and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to my chest.

"what happened?" he shrugged "nothing, I- that was nothing..." he stammered, still hiding his forearms from me. I nodded, sighing, and then combing his hair again. He exhaled shakily and closed his eyes "just relax Juggy, relax.... breathe, okay?" he nodded, nuzzling his head in my chest and looking up at me. Gosh... those eyes, I love them. After a while, it almost seemed like he would fall asleep so I nudged him softly "Jug? You still awake?" I whispered and got back a hum from him. He turned his head a bit to look at me "what do you say, mhm? Go to bed and then cuddle till you fall asleep?" he hummed again before sitting up. I got out of the tub and then dried myself while he got out as well. I headed in my room and got new clothes on for us, boxers for me and him and a sweatshirt for him. When we were back in clothes, I lifted him up before he could protest and then walked back in my room, carefully laying him down on the bed. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me as soon as I joined him on the bed.

"I love you Arch..." he mumbled, looking up at me "I love you too Juggy" I smiled and started combing his hair again. Jug closed his eyes and drew with his finger on my chest. The drawing then stopped when he fell asleep.

**08**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Friday, 13th February 2020 

When I had woken up, Archie was still asleep, so I played with his hair till he woke up "you're awake" I said, poking his cheek "nope, I'm not" Archie said, closing his eyes tightly. So I kissed his cheek "you sure?" he groaned, squinting his eyes open "fine, I'm awake" he cupped my face and pulled me in a kiss. I smiled after pulling away again "can you make pancakes for breakfast?" I asked and he nodded, sitting up "okay but you stay here and wait, okay?"

"okay" he smiled and then kissed my forehead before getting up and heading downstairs. I rolled around on my stomach and then reached my arm to the night stand to grab Archie's phone and then put on my playlist on his Spotify account before going on Pinterest and logging in.

I scrolled till Archie came with a plate with pancakes, drowned in maple syrup. I smiled, shutting his phone and making grabby hands. He chuckled and reached me the plate, then sat down beside me and rubbed his hand over my shin.

"those are delicious Ar- wait, those are from pops! You just headed to pops!" he started blushing a bit "guilty, thought you wouldn't notice though... I should have known better" he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand while the other still rested on my shin. I shrugged "they are better than yours anyways. Not that you can't make good pancakes, because you can, but nothing beats the food from pops" I rambled and he smiled "you don't miss a second to remind anyone"

I pushed the plate away when I had finished and put my hand on Archie's cheek before pulling him in a kiss. He grinned in it, leaning forward and making me fall back on the bed "Arch..." I mumbled between kisses but it kind of turned into a moan which resulted in him only continuing to kiss me "Archie stop" he immediately pulled away, sitting up.

"what? Everything okay? Did something hurt?" I shook my head, sitting up as well "what is it than?" I shrugged "I-I don't know... I just... I feel that we need to talk about yesterday..." he inhaled sharply and then sighed "okay but we don't have to, okay? I don't want to pressure you or anything like that" he said softly but then added "although I do have some questions" I nodded, mumbling a "go ahead than"

"about your forearm... Jug, did you- did you do this to yourself or...?" I sighed, driving my hand through my hair "I did... I did it to myself..." I mumbled after a while, looking down and swallowing "Juggy..." he sighed softly, taking my hand. I hesitated and wanted to just withdraw it when he shook his head "please don't, I'm not doing anything to hurt you, Jug, okay?" I nodded but still didn't want to look up "look at me" he said calmly but my focus stayed on my lap "please look at me Juggy" I hesitantly looked up at him "I don't know why you did that and I don't want you to feel forced to tell me, okay?" I nodded and he slowly rolled up the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I held in my breathe while awaiting what he would do. I was prepared for him yelling at me, or just letting go of my wrist and telling me to leave, or slapping me or something like that but he did nothing like that. Instead, all he did was bringing my arm up to him and giving it butterfly kisses.

"have you disinfected it? I mean, cleaned it up?" he asked, a whisper, and I nodded "okay, that's good. Do you want to talk about why or when you did it?" I swallowed "two days ago... you were already asleep and I didn't want to bother you, so I... I don't know... I'm sorry Archie..." I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my other arm. Archie kissed my forearm again, softly.

"yesterday, before I pulled your sweatshirt off, you asked me to not hate you... you said that because you harmed yourself?" he asked hesitantly and I nodded "do you? .... Do you hate me now?" he shook his head "how could I hate you Jug?" I shrugged "cause I'm ugly and I have trust issues because of my mom? Because my dad is an alcoholic and I'm staying here and eat your food and use your shower? Because I'm awkward and can't make you feel good or go to parties with you?"

"Juggy..." he sighed, scooting closer to me and taking my hands in his "you're not ugly and I don't care if you stay here or eat 'my' food or use 'my' shower and water. And even if you don't want to go to parties, I don't care. You don't have to like everything that I like and if you're not ready to do stuff, than that's okay as well. I don't want you to force yourself into anything, if you need time than that's okay, if not than that's okay as well. I want you to be safe and comfortable and happy, that's all"

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled and he shook his head again "no, please don't apologize any more, it's okay" Archie cupped my face and made me look up at him "I love you Juggy, please don't do this to yourself..." I sniffed "I don't know if I can..." I confessed, looking down again "okay... than I won't make you promise me to stop it because I know that it can be hard... but, I want you to promise me to call or text me when you feel like doing it, okay? Whether I'm at football practice or sleep at the moment, you tell me. Deal?"

"you sure...?" he nodded "please promise me to tell me when you want to harm" I bit my bottom lip but then nodded. He smiled and pulled me in a kiss but then I pulled away when I heard the front door open. I huddled off of the bed and then went to look who was at the door, quickly rolling my sleeve down again. Archie was right behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist at the steps. I had stopped walking when I saw Mr. A standing there and then there was this awkward silence. Yes, we should be in school right now... and his dad was supposed to come back just tomorrow, not today already.

"h-hey dad" Archie stammered after another few seconds "hey son" Mr. A greeted while I just kinda smiled "so, you two aren't at school" Archie sighed and kissed my cheek before walking downstairs to Mr. A and then they walked in the kitchen, leaving me at the stairs.

"the principal called me and said that you two have been skipping the whole week. Archie it can't continue like that. As much as Jughead is like a son, I'm afraid that he can't stay here if you keep skipping school" I was already on the way upstairs when I heard Mr. A say that. I stooped in my tracks and listened to what Archie was saying "dad please, none of this is Jughead's fault. I did it, I wanted to skip. Jughead can stay here, please let him stay here" _he's taking the blame for me... I... I can't let him..._ I walked down the stairs and walked in the kitchen as well. 

"stop lying Archie... I was the one who wanted to skip Mr. A-" I got interrupted by Archie "but he's got a reason dad. Jughead-" now I cut him off, his dad doesn't need to know what Reggie does "I-I had this, this project due to today and I d-didn't want to work with that person. I'm sorry that I dragged Archie in this as well..."

"Jughead," he sighed, disappointed" I thought more of you... and Archie? Why do you let yourself get dragged in this?" another sigh "I'm sorry but you can't skip school. Jug has to go home" Archie shook his head "dad please, let him stay here. I promise that he won't- that we won't skip school again" he shook his head "maybe when you regained my trust boys. I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep now" Mr. A left and I swallowed, looking down. "I'm sorry Arch..." he shook his head, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer "no, I'm sorry. Dad shouldn't have reacted like that, you don't... you don't have to go... I'm sure that I can talk to dad, when he isn't tired anymore..." I shook my head, looking up "no. I can go back to dad. I mean, we can still spent the days together, I just can't sleep here anymore" I forced a smile to my face and got on my tiptoes to kiss him before walking off to Archie's room and starting to pack. Guess I'm going back 'home'...

**09**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Wednesday, 23th February 2020 

My alarm was waking me up at 5am. Enough time to get up, take a quick shower and then have a drive to the trailer park and pick up Jughead, then go to pops and eat breakfast before going to school. Well, today was special day, last school day before summer vacation, so maybe I'll come a bit earlier already. Yeah, dad said that he could maybe come back after summer vacation, till then it has to work like that.

And I did, in time at 6am, I arrived in front of the trailer. I knocked on Jug's window, since he doesn't want me to knock on the door because of his dad. Five minutes later, the door opened and he headed outside. Running up to me, he wrapped his arms around my neck. I chuckled and caught him, connecting our lips "well, hello there Juggy" he smiled and kissed me again "six weeks of free time after today" he pulled away and then hopped off of me, walking to the car and sitting down in the passenger seat. I sat down as well and then drove us to pops. We ate breakfast and then went to school.

It was after school and I waited at Jug's locker for him. We actually wanted to go to pops and celebrate that we succeeded yet another year of school.... but Reggie asked if I would want to join him at a party and I can't just say 'no' to the football captain. I saw Jug coming around the corner and a smile spread across his face when he saw me. I smiled as well and greeted him with a kiss when he had approached me. He smiled giggly, bouncing up and down while putting his books in his locker.

"hey Jug?" he hummed, not looking at me though "I uh... Reggie invited me to a party because of last school day and you know that I can hardly say no to him" he nodded "yeah yeah... but why are you telling me this? You normally don't tell me either, you just go and send me a quick message"

"it's today... after school..." he stopped bouncing and his smile fell. _Fuck, he is disappointed_ "but we wanted to go to pops, today right after school..." I nodded "yeah, I know. Look, if you don't want me to go than I can just not go" he shook his head, putting on a smile... obviously fake "no, go Archie... it's okay. We can go sometimes else, tomorrow for example... if you're not too wasted that is"

"you sure?" I asked and he nodded, tightening the grip on the straps of his backpack "yeah, go" I smiled, giving him a kiss on the forehead "thank you, I'll retreat you tomorrow, I promise. And then there will be nothing that holds me back from not doing so, okay?" he nodded and then I kissed him again before leaving.

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

He walked away. He just walked away and I know that I told him to but a part of me just hoped that he would nevertheless stay with me and just go to pops instead of a stupid party but in the end, it's my fault that I told him that it would be okay. Nevertheless I walked out of the school and then to pops, where I sat down at the counter. I took out my laptop and then saw Pop coming out of the kitchen. I smiled at him and waved with my hand.

"so last day of school is over?" he asked, smiling, and I nodded "where is your lover boy, huh?" I shrugged "at a party, you will still give me that cake, right?" he chuckled, rolling his eyes "of course, to eat it here or to eat it home?" he asked and I shrugged "I don't know but I think I'll stay here a bit... so to eat it here"

"good, will be ready in a few minutes" I nodded and he disappeared again. I sighed and then started writing on my laptop. Yeah... the cake. Pop makes one for me and Archie every last day of a school year... and then we would eat till we feel sick. I just... I don't know... I thought it would mean more to him, that I would mean more to him but, I told him to leave. I said that it would be okay, he's not the one to blame.

Out of frustration, I ate the whole cake by myself.

When I had decided that it was time to go, it was already 8pm. I got my laptop back in my backpack and then stood up, saying goodbye to Pop before leaving. I was already on the Southside, almost at the trailer, when I heard noises. I turned around but saw no one, so I continued to walk. I heard a whistle and turned around again.

"who's there?" I asked but got no answer. I turned around again but the noises continued, so I turned around like every few seconds. I had nearly reached the trailer, already took out my keys, when someone covered my mouth. I tried to turn around but two arms were holding me in place.

"be quiet Jones" _wait... I know that voice_ "S-Sweat Pea?" it came out muffled and his hand let go of my mouth. Guess I was right. I turned around and looked at him "what are you doing?" he sighed "I'm sorry but you have come with me" I furrowed my brows "why? What is happening" he held up his switchblade "cause I say so" I nodded, swallowing. He put his switchblade away and I took a deep breath "why are you doing this?"

"I have no other choice" he mumbled and then grabbed my arm harshly, leading me somewhere in the forest "they would find out about Fangs and me if I don't..." he swallowed "if I don't do this" I turned around to look at him "do what?" but before I could say anything he pushed me forward and I stumbled over my own feet, falling and then everything went black... what the heck did just happen?

When I opened my eyes again, everything hurt and I felt dizzy. I sat up and noticed that it was dark outside and I was still in the forest. I squinted my eyes and looked around. I was alone and slowly got up, where my side hurt like hell. I looked down and lifted up my shirt but I couldn't really see anything. Firstly, it was dark and secondly, I have to clean that up before something can happen. I fiddled out my phone and dialed Archie's number... he didn't pick up. I called again, no answer. A third time, mumbling "come on pick up, please" while I slowly made my way back to the trailer, after needing to orientate myself before. He didn't pick up. I sighed and sucked in a sob, already seeing the trailer when I had given up on trying to call him.

I opened the door and went inside, walking to the bathroom. I turned on the light and lifted up my shirt before getting a washcloth to try and clean it up. When I was done, I looked in the mirror and looked at my side... the letters F A and G were carved into it. Tears welled up in my eyes and I called Archie again, once again he didn't pick up. Well, he probably sleeps right now or is still at the party. I started crying and sank down on the door, trying to muffle my sobs with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I definitely didn't need dad now wanting to beat me up as well...

I mean, I understand why Sweat Pea did what he did. It's- the serpents are still a little bit old fashioned, okay? They don't accept gay people... especially not me and Archie, as he is from the Northside and I'm from the Southside and theoretically also a serpent. But only theoretical since I haven't taken up my dad's 'job' I'm not saying that it is fair but... have you ever tried to change rules in a gang? Not even dad, if he would want it or care, could...

**10**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Wednesday, 30th June 2020 

It's been a week since... that happened. I had bandaged it up and it was healing pretty good, the ones on my forearms (from when school was still happening and I had Archie) were nothing anymore, or just small scars. Archie and I haven't seen each other that much (or at all for that matter) the whole past week. I uh I turned to a kind of habit. Out of frustration that he isn't here but I feel like harming, I eat. But after that, I feel so fucking bad and I just don't want to give Archie another reason to hate me, so I go to the toilet and force myself to throw up again. Before you're all going to say that I'm bulimic, I'm not. Bulimia is stupid. You eat only to throw it up again, I don't have enough money for that. I don't do that, just to clarify. _**But isn't that exactly what you're doing?**_ I shook my head. Those thoughts really have to leave. And it's not. I don't eat only to throw it up, I just feel bad about myself and don't want to gain weight.

_**But why? You are already fat what will a few new pounds do? Doesn't look like your boyfriend cares either or he would be here now.**_ I sighed, this is going to be a long night if I can't stop this... _**Archie isn't here anyways. He went to his mom to... somewhere**_ (to be honest, I forgot the town he told me she moved to but I didn't want to ask him again. I mean, how stupid can you be to just forget it?) But he is there for one week, meaning he would come back in two days and a few hours. 

I grabbed my phone and dialed Archie's number. My dad was here and he had locked my door, meaning I can't go to the kitchen to eat nor go to the bathroom and try to throw up or take a hot shower that hurts (even though we have no hot water anyways) _**Why are you even bothering to call him? He didn't pick up the last three times so why now?**_ Cause I'm gonna call him till he picks up. In the end, I needed only two tries till he finally picked up.

"Jug?" gosh his voice, missed that. I sighed relieved, pressing the phone closer to my ear "h-hey" in the background was loud music. So either his mom had allowed him to have music on full volume past midnight or he is, once again, at a party "what's up? Why are you calling so late?" I sat down on a chair "I don't- you told me to call you when I... you know, feel like harming again.... I d-do, now"

"can I maybe call you back on here? I have something important to do" my smile fell immediately, I was bothering Archie. But maybe I just heard wrong? "Archie please, I don't know what to do and you said that I should always call you when I feel like harming and dad locked me in my room. I can't go anywhere" I pleaded, crying once again, I'm so damn weak "I really have to go now" Archie said before hanging up. I stared at my phone, which I turned off after the call ended, and stayed like that for a few moments before...

Before doing something I haven't done in a while; I grabbed a razor... I haven't done it since Archie found out but firstly, he was almost always around till now and secondly, I didn't really felt this urge to cut again, till now. I don't know how long or often I cut (and I honestly don't want to know either) but it was definitely not until my arm was covered. It wasn't that bad last time, definitely not. After it, I was too tired to clean it up right away so I decided to just do it tomorrow, it's not like I could have left my room anyways. I crashed down on the bed, my head hitting the pillow, and almost instantly fell asleep. 

The next morning, I just blankly starred at my forearm in bed for a good hour. Over the night, the sleeve rolled up and when I had tried to pull it down again, it hurt like hell, so I just let it be and stared at it. I heard the lock to my room jiggle but I didn't care. I don't know, I found my forearm fascinating, I found _it_ fascinating. How there were red lines on my skin... it sounds weird I know but, I don't know, I can't explain it.

"Jug, are yo-" dad said but stopped midsentence. I sat up and pulled my sleeve down, wincing at the movement "were those cuts?" he asked and I shrugged, rolling my eyes "I lifted up a cat and it scratched me" he shook his head "don't tell me bullshit boy. You did this to yourself, didn't you?" I scoffed "even if, why do you care?"

"I'm your father, of course I care" I scoffed again, standing up "oh really? You haven't really shown that recently. If you haven't noticed, I slept at the Drive-in for two months and then I lived a week in the janitor closet of my school till my friend found out about that and told me I could stay at his. You weren't really a father to me dad..." I haven't outed myself yet, not in person at least. Sure, Archie and I are official but I haven't really told dad, so if he didn't get it from someone, Archie would still only be a friend of mine. 

But before I could say anything, he had grabbed my arm, me wincing in pain again, and rolled up the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I withdrew it but he already saw it. His eyes widened and he stared at me "boy..." he rubbed his hand over his face before sighing "Jug... since when?" I stayed quiet but then chose to answer, this is the closest we've been for the past year(-s even) "since when do you fucking do it!" he yelled and I flinched.

"six months..." I mumbled, looking away "why are you so stupid?! Didn't the other people in school hurt you enough?! Why do you hurt yourself as well?!" I choked on a sob and pulled my knees to my chest "d-dad please..." I stuttered out, tucking on my sleeve. He sighed and crouched down in front of me before taking my hands in his "Jug..." he sighed "I'm sorry, I just..."

"you don't know how to handle me, I know. You don't know how to handle that. You don't know how to handle anything! You can't even sober up!" I yelled, withdrawing my hands and dad looked taken aback "Jug I... look, I'm trying t-" I interrupted him "what?? Try to sober up? Try to be a good father again?? In case you haven't noticed, you failed multiple times trying so, for both things" he grabbed my hands again "listen to me! I am trying! I-" I cut him off again "no- NO! Stop! You didn't succeed the past times and now you'll probably fail again! I can't have hope for you anymore because I don't want to get hurt again from you, dad! Can't you understand that?? I'm done trying to want and believe you dad! I'm done, okay?! I'm done, dammit!" I tucked on my hair, tears blurring my vision but I didn't dare to look up at him.

"oh boy..." dad sighed again and then hesitantly sat down beside me, swallowing before slowly wrapping his arms around me, not sure if I would let him and honestly? I wasn't sure either but in the end, I let it be and just let me get hugged from my dad because God dammit, I needed that. I fucking needed a stupid hug from my dad.

"I'm sorry for yelling" I sobbed after a few minutes of silence "Jug..." he sighed again "I'm the one who should apologize. I wasn't there for you the whole time and I know that you went through shit because of me but I promise... I will try, okay? I will try to sober up and I promise, I may need time but I will do it, okay? I will sober up... I promise" I sobbed, pulling away from him "dad... please don't promise things you can't keep" I wiped my tears "I won't... I will keep that promise, okay? I will sober up, for you. I will do it, for real this time. But you promise me something, okay? Don't do this again, please. Don't hurt yourself"

"I will try..." and even though one more person knew my secret, it still didn't feel easier... I didn't feel safer because I knew that my damn thoughts still won't shut up just because I talk to people...


	3. Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad writing compared with emotional rollercoasters, Jughead's Mother coming for a nice visit, his condition getting worse, at least until Archie and FP can't stand it anymore and want him to get help 
> 
> Oh and Jellybean is 12 in this

**01**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Monday, 10th August 2020 

Jughead had been ignoring me for the past five weeks, hasn't answered any calls or texts (or even read them for that matter) hasn't opened the door of the trailer when I knocked, hasn't come over, nothing... I'm really starting to worry... Maybe that's the reason why I was already at the school, one hour earlier. I just wanted to kiss the hell out of him... and also ask why he has been ignoring me. Like that really messed with my mind, I slowly started to think that it's somehow my fault. But how? I can't remember that I did something wrong... I waited at his locker till he was heading to it but as soon as he saw me standing there, he turned around and walked in the opposite direction again. I sighed but waited, maybe he would come back? But when it was shortly until class, I headed to the classroom I had now.

After class, I headed back to his locker where he already stood and got his math and... history, I think, books out of his bag in the locker and his geography book out of the locker and in his backpack. When he saw me, he quickly shut his locker and turned around, walking away but I headed after him and grabbed his arm, turning him him around "Jug please, wait" I said but he shook his head "Juggy, you were ignoring me the whole last five weeks, please tell me what happened" I begged and he shoved my arm away, turning around to look at me "I am ignoring you?? YOU were the one to ignore me!" _wait what? I didn't ignore him..._ "what are you talking about? I called or texted you at least once a day, I was at your trailer door four or five times and today YOU were the one who walked away when you saw me"

"Archie, you yourself threw my phone out of the window, you would have had to call over land line and if you don't remember correctly, the bell is broke, there is a paper over it where it's written with permanent marker 'knock, bell is not working' and I looked away because I thought that you ignored me after what you said while you were at one of those many parties" he mumbled the last part but I nevertheless heard it "...what? What do you mean, after what I said at the party...?" he scoffed, eyes somehow softening? "you don't remember a shit, do you?" I shook my head. _I don't remember a bit, I don't even know what party to be exact_ "anyways, I have to go. Dad is awaiting me"

"since when does he care about you again? Did he finally sobered up?" he sighed and said, "he tries... unlike you" before shaking his head and leaving the school building.

I was knocking on Jughead's door for the past two minutes and he hasn't opened the door yet but I'm sure that he must have seen and heard me already "Jughead please open the door" I said over the knocks "what the fuck are you doing there?" I turned around to see Jug. _How come he stand there if he is inside? OH, oh he was never inside..._ "I'm worried about you and want to make sure that you're okay... and you've been ignoring me or I've been ignoring you, I don't know, okay?? But I want to be close to you again, it feels like we drifted away, again. Please tell me what's wrong..."

"what's wrong?? What's wrong is that you-" he inhaled sharply "you just ended the call when I told you that I fucking needed to harm myself! That's what's wrong!" he yelled and I didn't know what to say... "I needed you, okay?! I fucking needed you and you just ended this fucking call for what?? A damn party?! You told me that you would be there for me, that I could and should tell you when I want to do something to me but you aren't! You weren't there and I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Jug I..." I bit my bottom lip "I'm sorry? Yeah, I'm sorry that I have to break it to you Archie but a sorry can't fix that... at least not for me..." he sighed and I looked down "Jughead, I... please... forgive me... I don't- you know what? You are right, I can't apologize right because I can't remember it and that's what I'm sorry for as well. Please, let's fix this... let me, let me take you on a date? I want us to be back like we were before summer... and I know that it's partly- it is my fault"

"you're right but..." he sighed "you can take me on a date" my face shot up to look at him "really??" he nodded "I-I missed you too Archie... but I really should go inside, dad really tries to, you know?, and I don't want to make it hard for him. Please, let's just- please go Archie, we will see us tomorrow... and- just go, okay?" my face fell but I nodded "okay... I'll text- yeah, right you have no phone... I'll tell you when and where tomorrow in school, okay?" he nodded and gave me a short smile before going over to the door, unlocking it with his keys and walking inside.

"...I'm sorry..." I mumbled when he had closed the door. _God, I'm sorry... and I was really a dick..._

**02**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Monday, 10th August 2020 

I closed the door and sank down on it, covering my face with my hands and hitting my forehead and starting to cry. _Why do I have to be so fucking stupid?_ "hey, what's wrong?" dad asked when he had walked over. I uncovered my face and looked up at him, sighing "Archie is what's wrong..." I scoffed and got up to go to my room but dad put his hand on my shoulder and stopped me from moving "Jug... I know, I haven't been the best of a dad but... this Andrews boy makes you happy, whatever he did, you two will get over it. Don't push him away like you usually do with people, please..." I turned around to face dad.

"I..." I swallowed "I won't dad..." he nodded and pulled me in a hug. Over the past month he really sobered up, hasn't had one beer or any other sort of alcohol till now. He went to buy food (which wasn't the best for this habit of mine but I appreciate it), he was interested in my life (although that I didn't do much because of summer vacation except of writing and trying to sleep) and he bought me a CD player with radio, plus some CD's with music - cause he knows that I don't have a phone (and the reason for it) and that I hate silence because my thoughts can drift off easily.

"thank you dad..." I mumbled when I pulled away and he nodded "Jug I love you and you know, when you two work that out, we are going to have dinner with him and Fred but if he hurts you than I'm going over to 'talk' to him, alright?" I chuckled "yeah, okay. We can do that" he smiled and I added "I uh, I'm going to my room, yeah?" Yeah, dad found out about Archie and me dating and he's supportive of it - thank god - but he also kind of hates him now for not being there for me... so neat. I... I really think that he wants to change now, for me... at first I didn't want to believe it but I think that he really meant what he promised, he wants to sober up and be a father for me.

"of course, dinner from pops today?" I nodded "that would be great dad, thanks" he chuckled "you don't have to thank me Jug" I shrugged "I want to, dad" he nodded and I went to my room before closing the door.

Dad had brought food from pops for dinner but I had already fallen asleep over my laptop. He put a blanket on me and closed my laptop, shoving it under the bed where I always kept it. I ate the food some time after midnight, maybe 3 or 4am. 

Tuesday, 11th August 2020 

When school was, I still avoided Archie but he got a letter in my locker which said, 'I'll pick you up at 7, be ready. - Archie ♡' I smiled, looking at it. I was in my room right now - it was after school - and looked at the letter again. I sighed and went over to my closet to get out whatever I would want to wear. I didn't want it to be the usual but I also didn't want to wear something too fancy like a suit... In the end - 5 minutes later and throwing out all clothes I had - I decided to go with black skinny jeans (like, I only have black skinny jeans and another one for a suit), a black button up and my usual black converse... I let out the beanie but had it in my pocket - just in case - so I tried to style my hair a bit (which didn't really work out since it kind of always is a mess anyways)

It were still 5 minutes but I already sat on the stairs in front of the trailer. But soon I saw Archie's truck and stood up, brushing off imaginary dust. He parked and got out, walking over to me "hey" he said and I nodded, giving him a wave with my hand "so, where are we going?" I asked but he shook his head, smiling "nope, not saying where I'll take you. It's a surprise" he stretched me out his hand "shall we?" I nodded but didn't take his hand, just going to his car and sitting down in the passenger seat "Jug I... I'm really sorry. I just want to make up for it, you know that right?" he said when he had sat down "I know Archie..." I bit my bottom lip and didn't want to look at him because I had already seen what he was wearing. He had a white shirt with a waistcoat and jeans and I... it's hot, okay? We done here?

We drove for about a half hour till Archie stopped the car and got out. He walked over to my side and opened the door. When I got out, I noticed that we were at a parking lot... somewhere. I was excited, I didn't know where we were and I know every place in Riverdale - so we were out of this damn town for the evening "where are we Archie?" I asked and he smiled "I know that you don't like crowded places and that you enjoy nature... a-and love sunsets. The sun is setting today at 8.12, at least according to my weather app" I chuckled "I was here with my mom, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring you here. I know that this won't make up for everything but... I truly am sorry Jug and - fuck is this cheesy -" **(ngl I started crying at this sentence 😂)** "but I don't want another day with you not talking to me and just ignoring me in school. I want to talk to you like we did before summer break and I want to hold your hand in public, want to give you forehead kisses to say goodnight but right now I can't because I screwed up everything" I shook my head, sighing "no... you didn't screw up everything Archie, we both took part in here and I'm sorry that I've been ignoring you... I just, I don't know..."

"you just don't want me to hurt you again" I looked up "what?" he shrugged "I misused your trust and now you're afraid that I will hurt you again. Your mom left and your dad was an alcoholic and I was the only one who hasn't hurt you, yet, but know I did. You're not sure if you can or even want to let me in again, afraid that I will hurt you again..." he mumbled and I just stood there, not sure what to say before saying "that would make sense" he chuckled, nodding "it does cause I know you... God, I didn't plan to make this so cheesy, I'm sorry" he let out a little laugh but I shook my head, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around him "it wasn't this cheesy and thank you, for this and for trying, not pushing me away when I did push you away..." he wrapped his arms around me as well and kissed my crown "let's get going, there is still a little walk" I nodded and he pulled away, going to the trunk and getting out a bag and a blanket. I smiled "what's in there?" I asked and he smirked "you will find out when we are there"

"okay, then let's get going" he nodded, slinging the backpack over his shoulder. Archie then walked over to me and reached out his hand for me to hold it and I hesitated but then took it "thank you" he said, when we had already walked a few meters "for what?" I asked, looking up at him "for trusting me again" I nodded "I know that I already said it but, thank you too, for trying, Archie" he smiled and squeezed my hand.

When he stopped walking, I looked around. We were on the top of a hill or whatever you want to call it. I smiled and he let go off my hand, only to get out a blanket and sitting down on it, reaching his hand out to me. My smile grew and I took it, sitting down as well "I know that this isn't much but I thought that you would like it" I chuckled, as suddenly tears rolled down my cheeks. He wiped my tears "hey... is it so bad?" I shook my head "no jerk, I love it. Thank you Arch..."

"you're back at calling me Arch" he smiled, biting his bottom before leaning in. I hesitated but then leaned in as well, till our lips met. I smiled when I had slowly pulled away and just looked at him, not knowing what to say "I uh, food" Archie stammered, blinking and then pulling the bag to him. He opened it and got out pops. I chuckled "you didn't even cook yourself?" he shrugged "oh come on, you like pops more then my cooking anyways" I let out a small laugh while grabbing one burger. After eating, I laid down in his lap and he started combing my hair while we watched the sunset. 

** ∼ Archie Andrews ∼ **

When I looked down, Jug had fallen asleep. I smiled slightly and slowly laid his head down on the blanket while packing the other stuff together. When I did, I shouldered the bag and then picked up Jughead, carrying him bridal style back to my car. After putting the bag in the trunk again, I drove to his trailer and carried him inside, knocking on the door with my foot and FP opening it. He let me inside and I gently laid him down and put off his shoes and trousers. Then I carefully started pulling off his button up shirt, so he wouldn't wake up but still wanting to change him into a shirt since it would be more comfy, but then I stopped...

Not only were there cuts on his forearms (both now and way more than I knew about) but also something on his left side - over his waist but still under his chest. 'Fag' was written in edgy letters. I gasped and then swallowed thickly. It wasn't fresh anymore but not a scar yet either. _Who did this to him?? Or did he do it himself? I don't know which one would be worse... and I wasn't there for him. I was too caught up in parties and visiting mom and more parties to notice that it got worse for him._ I shook my head and then pulled it off completely. I headed over to his closet - where his whole clothes were on the ground somehow - and grabbed the first sweatshirt I found. I carefully pulled it over his head and let it fall down smoothly before tucking the blanket around him.

"night Juggy" I said when I kissed him on the forehead. Just as I turned around and wanted to leave, he grabbed my wrist. I faced him and his eyes were slightly open "stay..." he mumbled and I nodded but before crawling under the bedsheets as well, and laying down beside him, I stripped to my boxers. He was facing the wall and I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his waist, not sure if he would let me but he did. I mean, I knew it wouldn't make things easier, it wouldn't make things easier for him when I only hold him, but I did anyways. I wanted him to know that I'm here for him, now at least. I wanted him to know that he can trust me. I never wanted to hurt him...

**03**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Wednesday, 12th August 2020 

My eyes fluttered open to see Archie. I smiled but then frowned when I felt that I had other clothes on, a sweatshirt to be exact. Archie saw me, my body, the cuts, the 'fag'. I swallowed and sat up, looking at the clock. It wasn't even 5am so of course, he wasn't awake yet. I smiled slightly and stroke my thumb over his cheek before standing up and putting on a jacket to get warmer. Grabbing my laptop, I made my way out of my room and went to the living room. Archie should sleep a bit more after what he did yesterday. I smiled to myself.

I know that he really tries to fix this... and I forgive him, of course I do. I love him. Plus he is cute.

"what are you doing up boy?" dad asked, walking over to me and sitting down beside me "woke up and didn't want to wake Archie" he nodded "so the date went good?" I nodded, smiling "it was amazing" he nodded "be safe, okay?" I furrowed my brows "of cour- DAD!" he chuckled "I'm just saying in case you want to take the next step... and maybe don't do it while I'm here, okay?" I blushed but, thanks to the darkness, I think he didn't see it and then just nodded "good, I love you son" I smiled "I know, I love you too" he sighed, standing up "good, I'll have to go to work now. Cya after school?" I nodded "cya after school dad" he patted my shoulder and then grabbed his keys and jacket before leaving. He got a job at pops... he really means it this time, with getting back on track...I'm...I'm proud of him, although that there is a long way ahead of us, we will get there.

Monday, 17th August 

"Jug? You okay?" dad asked and I just shook my head. It was after school and after lunch, I skipped and just wanted to go home. I slammed the door shut and laid down in bed, face in the pillows while just crying. When dad came home from his shift at pops, he firstly knocked and then slowly walked in. The weight on my bed shifted and dad hesitantly put his hand on my shoulder "what happened?" I shook my head again. What happened was that Reggie was back in school. He somehow managed it to be expelled for the first week of the new school year but today he was back again and of course he had found me, right when Archie wasn't there. I had a free period, Archie had math class and Reggie was apparently out on a hall pass, thinking it would be funny to give me yet another of his blessed beatings while actually meaning to go to the bathroom till Mr. Weatherbee caught him. So, now he's expelled for a week again...

"should I call Archie?" he asked, palming my shoulder with his hand. I shook my head, Archie doesn't know about what Reggie did today and I'm not planning on telling him "no, I'll just go to sleep dad" he sighed "you sure? We could order some take out, maybe pizza or Chinese? Or I could drive to pops? You like that, don't ya?" I nodded and then sat up, smiling a bit at him "okay dad and pizza sounds good..." he nodded, patting my shoulder and then walking out of the room. I heard him talk on the phone and then he came back saying a quick "will be here in a half hour"

"thank you dad" he smiled and nodded before leaving and closing the door again. I sighed and looked down at my phone, I got an old one from dad. Not the best and really old but it's working, I only need it for calling Archie anyways. Should I call Archie? Or not? But the decision wasn't mine to make because the screen lit up and 'Archie ❤️' was calling. I accepted the call and put him on loudspeaker so that I could hear him but still let my arms lay down beside my body, I was just too exhausted right now.

"hey babe" Archie greeted, kinda out of breath - probably just took a run or so "hey Archie" I smiled. Why the hell am I smiling?? "what are you doing?" he asked and I shrugged "waiting. Dad ordered pizza - and you? Have you had a run or why are you so out of breath?" he chuckled "yeah, I'm walking back right now. I had run a bit around town" I nodded, humming "why are you calling me?" I asked, deciding to put my arms behind my head "can't I just call you? I don't have to have a reason to call my boyfriend, do I?" I chuckled "no, you don't have to have a reason to call me, I was just wondering"

"how was school? You haven't talked to me much... you only waved before going home?" why I did that? Yeah, well... because of Reggie, I have some beautiful bruises and I know that I couldn't hide them for Archie or lie to him "uh yeah, sorry. I had to go home but haven't I told you that already?" he hummed, agreeing "you have but I just wanted you to say it. I can't tell if you're lying when you put a post-it in my locker but when I hear your voice say it, than I can be almost 100% sure" I hummed "okay, I'm gonna have to say bye cause I'm home and dad said that I'm too often on my phone but I'll pick you up tomorrow, right?"

"yeah, we will see us then" I smiled "good, you have fun with your dad, bye" I hummed "bye Arch" he hung up and I got out of bed, stowing away my phone. Dad was watching some football game when I walked in the living room and sat down beside him on the couch "how is your novel going?" dad asked after a while of comfortable silence. I shrugged "haven't really wrote anything recently... guess I have a writers block or something like that, I don't know..." I haven't even thought about it. My head was always somewhere else "maybe you should try writing something else?" I shook my head "no, I... that's not what I'm looking for..." he nodded "okay... hey, Jug?" I hummed, turning around to face him "I'm thankful that you don't push me away... or Archie for that matter"

"I'm not so sure about that dad" he looked at me, confused "I can't..." I stopped mid-sentence, trying to find the right words "I can't really open up to Archie anymore... he tries and I know that he is truly sorry but I just can't open up... you know?" he nodded and then placed a hand on my thigh "you just have to let yourself trust him again. Archie is an amazing boy and you two love each other. Just try to let him in, okay? I hate to see you like this" I furrowed my brows confused "like what?" I asked and he shrugged "not happy. When you're with Archie or even only talk to him, your eyes lit up and you have this smile that no one else can give you" a knock on the door and I jumped up to open it for the pizza guy.

Dad gave the guy the money while I had grabbed the three pizza boxes and sat down on the couch, opening one box. When dad closed the door, I reached him the second box while keeping the third to myself. I actually planned on keeping the second pizza for tomorrow but before I could stop, the two boxes were empty and I was putting the boxes in the trash. I don't even know why I suddenly ate so much but I definitely wanted to get rid of the food. Unfortunately, I couldn't throw up while dad was still here.

"dad, I'm gonna pay Archie a quick visit, okay?" he hummed "kay, just don't stay there for too long, yeah?" I nodded, grabbing my keys and jacket before heading outside. It would have been lovely to go to Archie's but I had other things to do. When I was done with that _thing_ , I walked back to dad and then headed to my room after saying a quick 'goodnight, I'm gonna go to bed' and then rather quickly fell asleep.

**04**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Tuesday, 18th August 2020 

For the past week, I let what I saw when I changed Jughead's clothes slip. He didn't seem to want to talk about it and every time when I tried to lead the topic in that direction, he quickly changed the theme.

But now I have had enough. We have to talk about that. I stood in front of his trailer and knocked on the door, so that we could get to school . Yeah, I know that he actually doesn't want me here - on the Southside - but firstly, this way he doesn't need to walk and secondly, I just need to know what happened. I mean, it would already be enough to know if he did it himself or if someone hurt him, even though I don't know what would be worse. The door opened and I smiled when I saw Jug, heading out of the door. He got on his tiptoes to gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing my hand and leading me back to the car. We drove to school but he then headed to the Blue&Gold immediately, not wanting to talk to me... probably. 

** ∼ Jughead Jones ∼ **

Archie had been acting a bit weird. Well, of course he has. He wants to know what happened to my body. He'll surely confront me about it in the near future and then I can't just leave or change the subject again... I pulled my fingers in my hand palm but not as much as Betty used to, my knuckles nevertheless turned white. I looked up at Archie - who was parking the car right now - and when he had stopped and looked at me, I realised something. The time he wants confront me, is right now. I ran. Well not exactly, I just got out of the car and walked to the Blue&Gold.

Lunch break. Usually it was okay, at least ever since Archie became my boyfriend but today was different. Today Archie was trying to find every free second with me alone to 'talk' We were sitting at a lunch table, me with Archie and Betty and Veronica. They were filled in a conversation while I was just looking down at my hands... in the end, I did push my nails a bit too deep... and was doing it again right now. I finally stopped, releasing my finger and lightly dabbing my palms on my denim jeans, getting some of the blood on it. It hurt a little bit but it was bearable. I looked up, only to see Archie silent and his eyes meeting mine. I swallowed, looking down at my lap again.

"excuse me, I have to go" I mumbled before grabbing my bag and getting up. I quickly headed off before Archie could catch me but of course, he ran after me anyways and just as I got inside the halls, he had already caught up to me "Juggy wait!" Archie yelled, grabbing my shoulder, resulting in turning me around "what's wrong? Why did you just leave?" he asked while I tried to not meet his gaze "because I know what you probably want to talk about; about last week when you pulled off my clothes, right?" he nodded "yeah, kind of" he mumbled and I nodded, "yeah and I try to delay having this talk with you as long as possible" after saying this, I pushed Archie away and then continued walking. I didn't know where to but that didn't matter right now. 

"you know Juggy, there was a time where you would have told me but now I feel like I ruined everything because I lost your trust and it's kind of like my fault" I stopped walking and sighed, turning around again "no... it's not completely your fault... it's also mine... I'm sorry, okay? Look I'll- I will tell you later, yeah? But not in school... come over to mine after school, yeah?" he nodded, smiling and alone with that, I had to smile as well "thank you Jug but if you really don't want to, than it's okay... I can wait a bit more" I shook my head "no, I should have told you sooner Arch"

"so, the serpents did this 'fag' thing but Sweat Pea actually lead you to them?" I nodded. We were sprawled out on my bed, me on his chest and his arms wrapped around my body "okay, I'm gonna kill him" he grumbled, already trying to get off of me "what?? NO! He had no choice, please don't hurt him Archie... please" he sighed, settling down on the bed again and wrapping his arms just a bit tighter around me "okay... but why? Why do you try to protect him? He hurt you!" I shook my head, rolling around on my stomach and wincing when the fresh cuts on my forearm hurt "you okay?"

"yeah" he eyed me and then just grabbed my arm, causing me to wince again "don't tell me bullshit, you cut yourself again, right??" I flinched as he raised his voice a bit - not as much as to yell but still. I tried to withdrew my arm from his grip but he only grabbed tighter before rolling up my sleeve "Juggy," he shakily breathed out, looking at my arm and then at me "I thought you wanted to tell me when you want to do it again..." I scoffed "yeah, because that works oh so dearly, right?" he looked down, mumbling a "that's not fair, Jughead" I scoffed "well, newsflash Archie, life isn't fair and if I have to remind you, I am not the one who bailed my call where I begged you to tell me out of it but you thought that a random party is more important"

"Jug, come on, not again" I scoffed again, sitting up "not again? Not again?? Are you serious Archie?? I... You were the one to make me promise to call you, okay? And then you just thought like 'fuck off' because your drunk brain couldn't comprehend the fact that I needed you! I needed you and you didn't even try- You didn't even try, okay? A-And I'm in the middle of a conflict between trying to trust you again or just telling you to leave me the fuck alone!" I yelled, sitting up and tears already blurring my vision again "Jug I..." Archie mumbled and I shook my head, standing up and then just pointing my finger to the door. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again, standing up and then grabbing his jacket "Jug I'm sorry, okay? And if you're willing to trust me again, after this whole stupid party fiasco we h-"

"leave!" I yelled and he lowered his head, going over to the door and then leaving. I closed the door to my room before sliding down on it. I hugged my knees and then started crying. I mean, why do I have to be like this? Why can't I just let him in again? Why the hell am I always lashing out on him?

**05**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Wednesday, 20th August 2020 

"Juggy" I said, when I saw him approaching his locker. He stopped in his tracks at first but then it seemed like he sighed before turning around and then walking towards me. He sighed, pulling on the sleeve of his jacket before saying, "h-hey... I'm sorry about yesterday Arch... I don't know what happened and I'm truly sorry" he apologized but I shook my head, asking "can we please just stop apologizing for everyone and everything?" he looked up at me, nodding "I would like that" he smiled a bit and then wrapped his arms around me. I smiled to myself, hugging him back. I don't know he usually doesn't do the first front physical contact. It's usually him to just kiss back, hug back, etc and not me.

"are we going to pops today?" I asked while Jug opened his locker and got out his bookbag - which he keeps in school if he doesn't have homework - and his chemistry book "I don't know Archie, I have to look if I have time. But sure, when I'm free than we can surely go to pops" he smiled and then closed his locker "do you have your books already or do we have to go to your locker as well?"

"I have my books already" he nodded and then started heading towards chemistry class.

After two classes of chemistry, one hour history and two classes math, it was finally time for lunch break. But when I was at the cafeteria, he wasn't there and then, when I was at the Blue&Gold, he wasn't there either. He also wasn't at his locker, English - his next class - or the gym - his past class - (although that it would have been a miracle for him to stay longer than forced at P.E. ) I searched everywhere he could be... except the bathrooms!

** ∼ Jughead Jones ∼  **

"well well well, who do we have here?" I heard Reggie's voice echo through the hallway. I was out on a hall-pass because Mr. Weatherbee had something to discuss with me that apparently couldn't wait till lunch break but then, it were only 5 minutes or so left "Wednesday Adams, I'm talking to you" Reggie said and then whistled. I turned around, sighing, I couldn't run away from him anyways, so might as well try and stand my man, right..? "don't you have class or something like that? Or can you football players just go when you want to?" I asked, continuing to walk again "hey, wait! I'm not finished yet" he said, walking after me. I sped up a bit up but didn't run yet "leave me alone Reggie" I said but of course he didn't let go and just kept on following me. Suddenly he was in front of me and then, all my mind could proceed was one thing: run. I ran, as fast as I could, to the principal office and opened the door. Behind me, I slammed it shut again, taking a deep breath.

"ah Mr. Jones, I was already waiting for you" Mr. Weatherbee said, gesturing me to come in. I obliged and then sat down in one or the chairs "so why am I here?" I asked, nervously fidgeting with my fingers "your father called and said that I have to immediately inform you that your mother is coming. He's going to pick you up outside in ten minutes" my jaw dropped and I looked at him but then just gave him a short nod before getting up and running out of his office.

I looked around and sighed relieved when I didn't see Reggie anymore but then I remembered what Mr. Weatherbee just told me and then suddenly, all I could think of was to throw up. I don't know why this thought suddenly came... I just, I was overwhelmed and till now, the only way to get away from this feeling was either grabbing a blade or sticking my fingers in my throat and I didn't have a blade with me today so I ran to the next toilet. After getting in a stall, I dropped to my knees and tried to force myself into throwing up but in the end, all I got was just dry heaving. Well, what should I have expected? I have't eaten all day.

I didn't even care when I heard the bell announcing it was lunch time or that dad was probably soon waiting for me. I didn't care about that. Gladys was back. My fucking mother dared to come back after what she did to us. When mom left, dad drowned the pain in beer bottles and Vodka and then let it out on me. And about me, I don't even want to start. I hate her. I fucking hate her.

The door opened and someone walked in. I kicked the door close with my foot while still trying to throw up. The person walked over and stopped in front of my stall "hey, you okay?" the person asked, knocking on the door. I immediately stopped when I recognized it, of course I would. I recognize Archies' voice everywhere. I didn't know what to do. Archie wasn't supposed to see me like this. He can't see me like this. He can't, can't, can't- "Jughead? Is that you crying?" he asked and I covered my mouth, immediately noticing the wet tears. When did I start crying? "Jughead, if that's you please open the door and if not, then... I don't know, knock on the door twice, I guess" I wanted to knock but something held me back and then I opened the door quietly. Archie hesitantly walked in and looked at me "what's wrong? What happened?" he asked, sitting down next to me and then wrapping an arm around me.

"Gladys is back" I said but it was barely a whisper. Archies' head whipped around to look at me "what?" he asked and I just nodded, resting my head on the wall we were sitting on from the stall. I sighed, driving a hand through my hair. The beanie was on the floor anyways "Gladys is back, apparently. Mr. Weatherbee called me to his office to tell me that my dad called to pick me up because, well _apparently_ , Gladys is back in Riverdale"

"oh shoot that sucks but it still doesn't explain to me why were you almost throwing up? And don't come here and tell me it's the first time. Our kisses tasted like vomit for a while by now but I always let it slip and didn't say anything because I didn't want to force you or wanted to accuse you of anything" Archie sounded mad but then he softened, adding "please don't tell me that you're forcing yourself to throw up..." I stayed quiet, new tears blurring my sight and Archie sighed "Jug..." I sniffed, shaking my head "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Archie. I know it's stupid and that I shouldn't do it but I can't and I'm sorry..." I sobbed, hugging Archie and burying my face in his chest. He rubbed his hand up and down my back and played with my hair with his other hand at the same time "I'm sorry Archie, I'm sor-"

"stop apologizing, please" Archie interrupted, still softly though "it's okay, please stop apologizing Juggy" he continued to whisper that it's okay and continued to try and calm me down while I just cried and sobbed in his arms. Why is he not mad? He should be mad at me. For all of this. He should be mad at me for harming myself. He should be mad at me for trying to throw up all the times. he should be mad for me lashing out and yelling at him. 

"I-I should go to dad..." I mumbled, wiping my face with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I pulled away from him and then wobbly stood up again. Archie got up as well and then grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. We put my books in my locker, since I didn't need them for the next day and after that, we walked outside, where dad was surely waiting for us - or more me - already. I let go of Archie's hand and then got on my tiptoes to give him a quick goodbye kiss before walking to the car but a hand grabbed my wrist - where I flinched again - and turned me around.

"hey, we talk about this later, right?" Archie asked "about what?" I asked, honestly confused about a second, and his face hardened "you know exactly about what. You. throwing up. multiple times. " dad honked and I shortly looked at the car before looking back at Archie, blushing, while fiddling with my fingers "I'll call you today after dinner, okay?" he asked and I nodded. I then gave him a peck on the lips before letting out a giggle, turning around and heading to dad's car. But as soon as I sat down in the car, my smile fell and I just looked at my lap, quietly buckling up.

"was Mr. Weatherbee right? Is Gladys back here in Riverdale?" I asked when dad had already started driving "yeah... for a week. She just called and said that she was already on the bus and would be here in an hour. So I called the principle as soon as possible to tell him that I'll pick you up" dad said and I nodded. I sighed, asking "and Jellybean?" while finally looking up at him but he only shrugged "I don't know but I don't think that she got her out of school for that" I sighed, biting my lip, and nodded again. I mean, if this bitch is coming here, she could at least bring JellyBelly with her. We soon arrived at the trailer and got out of the car but when the door opened, I stopped in my tracks.

"Jughead!" this stupid bitch called and I sighed "Gladys... what the fuck do you want here- bah don't touch me!" I yelled, pushing her away from me and scoffing, before I walked inside and slammed the door to my room shut.

**06**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Wednesday, 20th August 2020 

"I can't!" I complained "you don't know how annoying she is and she left! She was the one to fucking leave us and not me or dad, it's her fault, okay?? And now she can't just walk through the doors of my home and act like everything is fine and t-that she didn't leave us or the fact that I fucking hate her" I complained "hey... it's going to be okay Juggy" Archie said softly through the phone "yeah because you don't have to stay here" I snapped but then mumbled a "sorry" right away "it's okay and if it would help, I'm free today. I could come, only if you want of course" I smiled slightly "I would like that"

"okay, I'll be right over"

"so Fors-" I sighed once again "I'll stop you right there, Gladys. It's Jughead. My name is fucking Jughead, please address me like that or in the future, I won't hear when you call me that" dad eyed me and I scoffed but luckily, a knock on the door saved me from another little chatter with him, telling me to be nice to my _mother_ "I will get that" I mumbled, giving the bitch a polite smile before getting up and almost running to the door. I opened it to face Archie and immediately wrapped my arms around his neck. With a giggle, he caught me and then kissed my forehead "already getting frisky at the door? What am I supposed to do inside? Rip my pants off?" he asked, chuckling and I giggled "no dumbass, I just can't deal with her anymore, not alone without you by my side" he smiled "aww, you're a cutie" Archie said and I turned red. I was already leaning in and Archie's and my lips almost touched when I heard footsteps, so I pulled away before we could kiss and just then, dad said "Oh hey Archie"

"M-Mr. Jones, hey. I didn't know that you would be here" I face palmed. Archie just can't lie to anyone "oh, I'm sure that you didn't and I bet that you also don't know about Jughead's mom staying here, right?" he sighed "well, anyways, now, where you are already here, you might as well join us for dinner" I smiled, grabbing Archie and shoving him inside the trailer. He put off his varsity jacket and hung it on the hanger. Dad had already sat down beside Gladys in the kitchen when Archie and I walked in there too.

"who's that?" Gladys asked and Archie already opened his mouth to say something but before he could, I cut him off. Smiling, I said "this here, Gladys, is my emotional support towards you. I'm not used to dealing with rotten garbage on the daily" dad tried to hold in his laughter while Archie just stretched out his hand "or you call me Archie, I'm Archie A-" I interrupted him yet again "he's my boyfriend. Yes Gladys, my boyfriend. I'm gay and either you don't accept it, then over there is the door, or you accept it and congratulation, you have common sense" Archie tried to hold in his laughter as well now while Gladys just glared at me. Dad cleared his throat and looked pleading at me, so I sighed and then sat down in front of him while Archie sat down in front of Gladys - beside me. I intertwined our hands under the table and looked up at Archie. He smiled softly and I calmed down already.

We sat there for maybe another ten minutes - and Archie kissing me here and there on the neck or the cheek or the lips - before he caught the look of dad and got up, pulling me with him and saying a quick goodnight before we disappeared in my room

"Archie, what was that f- mmmh" I started to say but he interrupted me with a kiss "just shut up and let me kiss you" he mumbled before reconnecting our lips. I smiled, walking over to the bed - being careful not to break from the kiss. We got more sloppy and that's when I fell on the bed and Archie on top of me right after that. I giggled, already getting on freeing Archie from his t-shirt. He helped me and only seconds later, his lips pressed on mine again. My fingers skimmed his abs while he went over to kiss my neck and slightly sucking on it. I moaned and immediately covered my mouth.

"Archie stop, dad is right in the kitchen and the walls are thin here" I mumbled. But you see, Archie continued and I didn't stop him. How was I supposed to stop him if I enjoyed it just as much? So, Archie continued to kiss, suck and bite on my neck, at least until there was a knock on my door. Archie immediately stopped and looked at the door.

"y-yeah...?" I asked, stuttering as I flushed red. I definitely didn't need dad or Gladys to walk in right now, thankfully the person stayed outside before saying "boys, please keep it PG - at least till I'm asleep" dad pleaded "y-yeah, sorry... we didn't wanna disturb you" I said and he walked away while I turned even redder "oooh, so you care about us disturbing your dad but not one bit about your mom?" Archie asked, still being on top of me by the way "yeah, problem with that?" he shook his head, chuckling, but then he rolled down from me so that he was laying beside me, me now on the side of the wall - just like always.

"why don't we continue?" I asked and he shook his head "nah, I don't want your dad to actually walk in" this nevertheless didn't stop me from kissing Archie passionately. While we continued, I slowly got on top of him and he rested his hands on my hips. Sadly we had to break apart for air. I gasped and smiled before pressing my lips on Archie's again "Ju- Jug" Archie mumbled between kisses "Jughead wait" I stopped and looked at him "what?" he sighed, sitting up "we need to talk, about what's gotten into you and about this at school as well"

"what do you mean 'what's gotten into me'? I'm okay, I'm acting normal- I am completely normal, okay? We don't need to talk about 'what's gotten into me' because nothing got into me, yeah? I'm fine. Fine, fine, fine!" I said, getting louder at the end "see? That's why we need to talk! You're not fine and you keep on hiding things from me" he said softly, grabbing my hands and engulfing them in his "just please tell me what's going on. I mean, beside your mom staying here" I shook my head "I'm fine Archie, please let it stay like that. We can talk about it some time later, yeah? Let's go sleep, I'm tired" I huffed and flopped down on the bed, facing the wall.

"Jughead." I stayed quiet, not moving "Jug please. Come on, what do I have to do to make you tell me what happened?" I stayed still, not even thinking about answering Archie "okay, fine..." he sighed but then laid down beside me, wrapping an arm around me and then pulling me closer "goodnight Juggy, I love you"I sighed, whispering a"I love you too Arch..." After this I allowed myself to snuggle up to Archie and in the end, we didn't talk about me throwing up. I would like to let it stay like that and I also don't need him to know about why I'm so upset.

**07**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Tuesday, 26th August 2020 

I didn't really sleep much last week, even less than usual. It's just that thoughts swirled trough my whole mind all the time and Gladys was at the trailer - not all the time but still, she could just plop up in the trailer while me and Archie are, well rather not get into details - , I can't close my eyes when she is here and lastly, I felt bad about Archie. I just didn't tell him anything about how I feel and so on but he really tries to understand and all I do is push him away... or go to business with him. I don't know. I mean, yes, I would really like to open up to him again but I just can't. How do you explain to someone that you hear some voice in your stupid head that makes you do things you don't want to without making them think that you're crazy?

"oi Jughead! Come over here for a sec', I have a question to ask you" Reggie snarled, wearing his usual cocky smirk, he always has when he sees me. I sighed but then walked over to him, head low. If I wouldn't, then he would just catch up to me and make things even worse "what do you want?" I asked, sighing again "just wanted to check up something. You know, there are new rumors about you. Somebody is walking around, telling that you harm yourself" I froze. _Who told them? Did Archie... - No. He wouldn't do that. Archie wouldn't tell anyone that I harm myself. He loves me. Archie wouldn't tell anyone about me harming. He's loyal. He wouldn't-_ "seeing of how you react, I guess that the rumors are correct?" he asked and I didn't do anything. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I just stood there "come on, answer me loser" he said but I couldn't react and then- then Reggie just grabbed my left arm and forcibly rolled up the sleeve of my sweatshirt, gasping at my exposed skin and the cuts and scars. "holy shit, it's true" when my senses came back to me and I had tried to withdrawn my arm, Reggie had already taken a photo with his phone. He pushed me in the locker and then just left. My sleeve fell back down and I slid down on the locker, hugging my knees and starting to cry.

I somehow survived the rest of the school day and then went home as quick as I could. I didn't want to be outside anymore. Everything was so draining. Reggie and Gladys and Archie and just life in general. I don't know, it just felt so hard to do anything right now. With a sigh, I flopped down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. It was too warm so I put off my sweatshirt and changed into a shirt before laying down again. I sighed, getting out my laptop and scrolling through Pinterest while listening to some music with my headphones.

"Forsythe" Gladys called, opening the door. I forgot that I only wore a shirt and before I realized it Gladys was already staring at my arms. I quickly sat up and looked at her "are you cutting yourself Forsythe?? That's not a proper way to deal with your problems! You can talk to us or to your friend or even this boyfriend kind of thing!" she scoffed at 'boyfriend' "oh because you're here for me or what?" I asked, scoffing as well and then standing up "look Gladys, you weren't here for multiple years. You can't just expect me to trust you after abounding me. And also, you have no right to tell me that this is not a proper way to deal with my problems because guess what? You have no fucking idea what's going in my life. So why don't you just shut the fuck up for once?!"

"that's not how you speak to your mother, Forsythe!" I rolled my eyes "you can't be called something similar to mother. You clearly failed" I sighed before going to the door "either you leave or I, I don't care, but I won't stand being close to you for one more second" and as she didn't make a move, so I scoffed and just walked out of the trailer before running through the forest for as long as my half charged MP3-Player was playing music - which was probably heard through the whole forest since I didn't have earphones with me. When it was at 2%, I slowly made my way back to the trailer.

"dad, bitch, I'm home!" I called "Jughead-" dad slurred and I stopped in my tracks, freezing. Slurring. Dad is drunk. Dad drank again. No no no no no "what's wrong boy?" he asked and I just shook my head, mumbling a "you're drunk" before running in my room and slamming the door behind me. I put the MP3-Player on the charger on my bed and then threw myself in my bed. When I looked up again, I saw the box. This damn black box. I bit my lip, I couldn't do this. _**But you've done it multiple times, one more time won't hurt.**_ I shook my head, hitting my hand against my head.

"shut up" _**tsk tsk tsk, you can't shut me up. Silly little Jughead. You have no one right now. Archie is already asleep, probably, and your mom hates your guts. Your dad is drunk and your sister didn't want to talk to you the last time. You're alone, alone, alone.**_ "shut up! I won't listen to you again" _**but you already are Jughead... you will loose, again. Now come on, do it. It's the only thing you can do right. Get over the fear and just release the pain. Come on. It's such easy thing to do.**_ "no, I promised Archie to not do it" _**but he isn't here now, right? And what Archie doesn't know, doesn't hurt him. Get it over with already. The earlier you do it, the sooner it will be over. Do us all the favor, please.**_

"I said stop!" _**why should I stop if YOU want me to do it! I help you! I'm the one who helped you survive through an abusive household for your whole life! I was the one to safe you! I am the one who told you to dodge when your father threw a beer bottle at you! I am the one who made you strong enough to believe that you're worth something! Without me you would have ended up in a forgotten street corner and died years ago! I am your instincts from the beginning on till the end! You can't get rid of me.**_ I didn't want to. I didn't want to harm myself. _I can't do that to Archie... but..._ I sat up and walked over to my desk. After opening the top shelf, I grabbed the black box and went back to the bed. I got out a blade and looked at it. _I can't do it. I can't do that to Archie. I cant do that to A-_ Cut. I looked down. I had harmed myself again... without even trying not to do it. How pathetic can I be?

 _**Pathetic.**_ Shut up.

 _**You're pathetic.**_ Cut

 _**You lost, again.**_ Cut.

 _**Stupid to believe that you could stop.**_ Cut. I moved to cut horizontal now and not vertical anymore. I wanted it to shut up.

 _**Alone.**_ Cut.

 _**Toxic.**_ Cut.

 _**Unable to love.**_ Cut.

 _**Fat.**_ Cut.

 _**Dumb.**_ Cut.

It went on and on till I felt lightheaded for a moment. The razor blade fell down on the ground and I just sat there on the bed. _What the heck have I done again?_ But then, when I gazed down at my forearm, I panicked for a second. There was so much blood. _Fuck fuck fuck. What am I going to do??_ "breathe" I mumbled to myself. _**It's okay, just breathe. Get up. Go to the bathroom. Clean it up with water. Disinfect it. Get bandages. Wrap your arm up. Go back to your room and lock it. Now go in bed and cry.** Cry? **Cry.** Cry. _

"A-Archie?" I asked through the phone. I had tried to calm down from bawling my eyes out and then slowly and quietly went in the hallway - only to see dad passed out on the couch. I had sighed and put a blanket over him before guessing that mom was either at the bar or asleep in bed. I had sighed again and then dialed Archie's number "Jug? Are you okay?" I sniffed "yeah- yeah, I'm okay. I just wanted to hear your voice" I said, exhaling relieved. Archie was just always something that calms me down "are you sure? You sound like you've been crying" I chuckled, wiping the tears that were still left "no, I'm fine Archie, don't worry. I just really wanted to talk to you and uh... you're gonna come over in the morning to pick me up, right?" he hummed before saying "of course, I'll see you tomorrow or is there something else you want to talk about?"

"no, it's okay. It's not that important... we talk tomorrow. Goodnight Archie, I love you" I was curling a few hair locks around my finger while talking, it just distracted me and it was easier to lie to Archie that way... "night Juggy, stay safe and I love you too" silence for a few seconds where none of us two said something "I'm gonna hang up now, okay?" Archie asked and I hummed before he then ended the call. I still had the phone on my ear for a few more seconds before sighing and then getting back in bed, curling up in a ball and hugging the blanket. At some point, I fell asleep but not before Gladys came home and entered the room to check if I was asleep, where I obviously pretended to be asleep.

**08**

**∼ Archie Andrews ∼**

Thursday, 28th August 2020 

I picked Jug up in the morning and then we got to school. Everything seemed normal - until lunch break. I was going out of my class room, about to go in Jughead's last class when he stormed out, tears rolling down his face. He crashed into me and I immediately wrapped my arms around him. When he had realized that it was me, he wrapped his arm around me as well, letting out a racked sob that shook his whole body.

"what happened?" I asked worried but he shook his head, burying his face in my chest. Reggie came out of the classroom, holding pictures in his hand but when he saw me, he froze "Andrews-" I looked between him and Jug before figuring that Reggie had done something again "what the hell did you do??" I asked, growling "hey, why do you just straight up assume that I did something?" I shrugged "I don't know, maybe because you're the only one who still bullies him?? So, what did you do?" I asked again. Reggie rolled his eyes before replying, "nothing big, I just showed the class some pictures" I glared "what. king. of. pictures." he just reached me one of the photos he held in his hand and I gasped, tightening the grip around Jug. In my hand was a picture of Jug's forearm, with fresh cuts. I frowned and looked down at Jug.

"what the fuck Reggie?? Where did you even get them??" I asked and he shrugged "got them from him, pulled up his sleeves and done" I was ready to punch him, my blood was boiling and my hand, who held the papers, formed into a fist "you don't learn it, huh??" I said, my voice raised, causing some people to turn their heads towards me and Reggie and Jughead winced.

"just shut the fuck up Reggie! You don't get anything, huh?" I yelled "you don't even realize what damage you do to people, what you do to Jughead! You just walk around, thinking that only because you're Mr. Popular Football God, no one can hurt you but guess what?? I'm ready to fight you physically if you don't stop hurting him! You're seriously abusing every bit of privacy he has to get something so that you can bully him! He's crying! He fucking has panic attacks because of what you do for gods sake! You have no fucking idea of what he's been through," I heard Jughead mumbling something but couldn't understand him so I continued "you don't know about the nightmares and about why he self harms! Guess what, the fucking reason is yo-"

"-up. Shut up. Shut up!" Jug yelled and I immediately stopped talking "shut up Archie!" he pushed me away "Juggy-" he interrupted me again "no! Why are you telling him that whole bullshit?! I don't harm myself because of him!" he yelled, crying again. He groaned, mumbling "just forget it" before just storming off, the crowd of people making space for him. I glared at Reggie and he glared back but then I decided to be the wiser one and scoffed before turning him my back and going after Jughead. But I couldn't see him anymore, so here comes a new round of searching the whole school for my boyfriend.

"Archie!" Betty yelled. I looked around, searching for her blonde ponytail "Archie! You have to go outside, it's Jughead!" she yelled, grabbing my arm and then just pushing me out of the hallway and outside. I didn't know what was happening, all I saw was that there was a big crowd and that Betty told me that it was Jughead. That's it.

"Betty wha-" she shook her head, pulling me further in the crowd but then I lost her and suddenly I stood dumbfounded in a crowd of fucking people while Betty told me that I have to go outside because 'it's Jughead'. _Yeah, what the hell is Jughead Betty?? If you drag me in a fucking crowd of people because of 'Jughead' then fucking tell me why and not just leave me._

But then I heard, "everyone, listen up!" that's Jughead's voice. Where is he?? My eyes scanned the crowd but I couldn't see him until I looked up and saw his figure on the roof. _The fucking roof. The fucking roof. He's going to jump. Oh my god, he's going to jump._ I tried to get through the crowd of people and back to the doors, where I started sprinting over to the stairs. I raced them up to the top and then headed to the other end of the floor, since was the door to the roof was there. I opened it only to see Jughead, standing on the roof. He said something, he was definitely yelling at the people down there but I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear him. I stood there frozen, I stood there frozen at the door - unable to move.

"Juggy!" that was my voice. I was yelling his name. I wasn't frozen anymore "Jughead please, don't do this!" he shook his head, still not facing me "Juggy please. Please." I pleaded "we can do that. We can fix that. Please, come down from there. We can fix thi-"

"we can't! You can't fix this, you can't fix me, okay?? I'm fucked up Archie! I harm myself and force my body to throw up! I even hear this stupid voice in my head, okay??" I shook my head "n-no, no we can fix this. I can help you. Whatever you need, I can help you! I want to help you!" I yelled, tears blurring my face and threatening to fall "you can't help me, stop thinking that you can" he finally turned around to face me "yes, I can and if not, then let me tell you something else, okay?" he shook his head "no! No, you don't tell me! You can just move on and live your life!" he yelled, crying himself and I sighed, shaking my head "I can't. You know, ever since we started dating, I can't help but imagine how our future is going to be. Do you hear that? Our, our future. Because guess what?? You're my damn future! I kept on imagining what could happen. After graduation, we would both go to college and live in a little apartment in New York. In some of these crappy 2 room apartments because we couldn't pay anything more - even though you would be a writer and write one or two articles for newspapers or so and I'll be a musician and get money from small gigs in bars or something like that. And Veronica and Reggie would live close to us same as Kevin and Betty with their boyfriends. We would visit your dad and Jellybean at least once a month. You will get really famous when you publish your first book and then you can't deal with the fame and I would have to calm you down because someone called you cute and you seriously don't like compliments" I sobbed "but therefore, you'll have to come down from there and let me help you. Please, don't jump. Just let me help you so that we can make this future come true, please..."

"o-okay" If I would loose Jughead, I don't know what I would do... "okay?" he nodded. I walked closer to him and reached him my hand so that he could take it. He just wanted to when he-

When he slipped.

**09**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Friday, 29th August 2020 

I opened my eyes to see nothing but bright light. At first I saw dad with *gag* Gladys leaning on his shoulder and then Archie on my other side, holding my hand. He seemed asleep, so I shook him a bit till he woke up.

"Jug..." he mumbled - whining like a little child - but then his eyes opened wide and a smile appeared on his face "you're awake" I looked around "what happened...?" it came out as a raspy whisper and my throat felt dry but Archie nevertheless understood and replied, "you slipped, from the school roof. Luckily, the firefighters already had a jumping sheet ready so you didn't die. But you landed wrong so you have a broken arm, a small concussion from the fall and abrupt landing and had a dislocated ankle" he explained and I nodded, looking at my lap so I wouldn't have to face him "I'm sorry..." I mumbled and he scoffed "and I'm mad. You could have- instead you just- you could have talked to me! I'm there for you. Your dad is there for you. Or Betty and Veronica. Hell, even your mom is still here and stayed longer than she wanted because she cares about you. There are a lot of people who care about you and you just throw that away. I just don't understand it! You harm yourself, okay, I can deal with that and help you. You force yourself to throw up, okay, I could also deal with that but killing yourself?? How am I supposed to help you with that, huh??" he took a deep breath and I noticed dad stirring a bit "I don't know how to help you with that Jughead. Besides, you could have talked to me. Don't you get that? I'm here for you, this one time where I was drunk and at a party was ONE TIME, nothing more - it's definitely not reason enough to not trust me and just completely shut down" _he's wrong. He's so fucking wrong._

"yes, it was one time because I didn't call you every time anymore after that. Archie I just... I really try to, okay? And I've told you that a couple of times that I-" he shook his head, interrupting me "I don't want to hear this 'I really try to' because if you would, you would just call me and not grab a blade like on Tuesday. I saw your forearm... your dad saw it as well, and your mom - and the doctor and nurses, of course. And don't tell me with 'this was from some time else' because yes, I know that you would say something similar to that because guess what, I fucking know you Jughead! Back to the question, yes it is from Tuesday because after Reggie got a few punches in his stupid face and a damn kick in his goddamn guts from me, he told me what he did and your arm definitely looked different in the picture than it looks now. You even fucking cut horizontal?! Do you really want to die so badly, cutting open your vein??"

"Archie-" he cut me off again "no! I don't.... I mean, do you even think how that is for me? To watch you hurt and kill yourself? God, I would have thrown myself over that damn roof if I couldn't have saved you" I shook my head "this isn't about you Archie-" he interrupted me again "yes it is. For fucking once I want it to be about me. I want this relationship to be about me and you, not only me comforting you and you pushing me away the next day because that's what our relationship is like right now and it's fucked up and sucks like hell for me because I don't know if you truly love me or just need me as an outlet for your frustration and problems. You haven't asked once if I'm okay over the past 4 months. It was always me, asking every time I saw you or we had a call. As long as you still make everything about you, I'm out of here"

"w-what do you mean...?" I stuttered out, grabbing his hand tighter "I mean, as long as I don't see you really trying, I will put us on a break" I shook my head rapidly "Archie don't... please... I don't... I don't want to... I... please, let me prove you that I-" he shook his head, withdrawing his hand "you had enough time and chances to prove that you try. Get yourself back together and then we can talk again. I'm sorry but I just can't anymore. I feel used, okay? I don't know how to fix or even help you if you don't let me and you obviously don't want me to help you" he said and I nodded... still not believing it though "so this is a goodbye then or what?" I asked, scoffing, _he can't seriously break up with me right now, right?_ "I just need a break, okay? And I need you to sort yourself out and get help. I... I told your dad everything I know..." I scoffed "if this is supposed to help you gain my trust back and open up again, than it's not working, you know?"

"I just don't want you to get even worse... that's all" he mumbled and I looked up at him but then down and just watched him leave the room. I sighed and then flopped back on the bed, seeing that dad was looking at me "you saw and heard all of that, right?" he nodded "did he really tell you everything?" dad nodded again "I'm sorry dad. I must be a disappointment to you..." I mumbled but he shook his head, leaning over to me and then resting his hand on my arm "no, you will never be a disappointment to me Jug. You are my son, I couldn't be disappointed in you. You're amazing. You're a writer and you'll go to college and yeah, maybe you have some problems but you always get up and even after all of that, you're still you and that you're unique only shows that you'll beat your way through life - no matter how much someone punches you. I'm so proud of you..." he sighed before adding "but Archie is right, you do need help, at least after what he has told me..."

"I still wouldn't be a disappointment to you if I would want to go to a psychiatric..?" I asked unsurely, looking up at him and he shook his head "do everything you think will help you and if you think, going to a psychiatric is the right way, then so be it. I just want you to know that you'll always be my son and I'll always support you, okay? All I want is for you to be okay... I love you Jug" tears were welling up in my eyes "I love you too dad and thank you"

** ~ FP Jones ~ **

Tuesday, 1st September 2020 

After work, I drove over to the Andrews house and then knocked on the door. Fred opened, greeting me "yeah yeah, I need to talk to your son" I rushed and he just opened his mouth to say something when I saw Archie silently walking upstairs with a bag of crisps and a big cup of ice cream when he noticed me "Mr. Jones? What are you doing here?" I sighed "I need to talk to you" he gestured to him with his finger and I nodded "uhm okay...?" he walked over to the door and Fred made place by leaving and going in the kitchen "what's up?" I reached him the note where I wrote down the number "in case you want to call Jughead" I said, when he gave me a confused look "calling hours are from 8am-10pm" he nodded. Even though Gladys said 'no' and meant that we couldn't send him away since it would ruin his and her reputation, we did it. It was Jug's decision and he finally wanted to do something... I don't know if it was because of Archie or because of other reasons or because of everything in general but I'm happy that he's getting help... but I also know just how much he loves Archie and that they both need each other. I can't force them though, so I'll just have to trust in Archie calling him. 

Friday, 25th September 2020 

I talked to Gladys and Jellybean over the phone and we both arranged that she would come here over the weekend, arrive Friday evening and then go back to Gladys with the train on Sunday. I was waiting for her at the train station and when the train arrived, a lot of people flooded the platform. I turned around and searched for my little girl but couldn't find her.

"dad!" Jellybean called and I turned around to see my little girl "Jellybean!" she let her suitcase fall down and then ran over to me, instantly wrapping her arms around me and I, of course, hugged back while lifting her up. "how are you JB, huh?" I asked when we were already on our way to the car. I had taken her suitcase and put it in the trunk. She sat down on the passenger seat and I in the driver's seat "I'm good dad, is Jughead still at school or why isn't he picking me up?" ...about that, Gladys and I haven't told her about Jug "he doesn't know that you're coming" I said instead "so I'm a surprise?" she asked, smiling, I nodded and let it stay like that. I can still explain it to her afterwards. We got home and then soon ate dinner at pops but when we were back home, she asked again to where Jug is. I sighed and told her to sit down on the couch. She did and I then sat down beside her "what is wrong dad? Did something happen to him? You're worrying me... Please tell me that he's okay..." I sighed, grabbing her hands "Jellybean, your brother isn't home right now" she looked at me confused "Jughead is in a psychiatric to get help..."

"what?" I bit my lip before continuing to speak "we will visit him tomorrow, that's why I wanted you here so soon. He wants to see you, ever since your mom came here" she looked confused "she was here?" I nodded "yeah, about three weeks ago. You didn't know?" she shook her head and I opened my mouth to say something but didn't know what "if I would have known, I would have come with her. Why didn't she tell me?" she asked and I could only shrug "I don't know, I'm sorry. But I guess, same goes for why she didn't tell you about Jug" we two stayed silent for a moment before she stood up, saying "I'm going to bed dad" I nodded, saying goodnight before she disappeared in Jughead's room. I sighed, leaning back on the couch, eyes wandering over to the fridge. I quickly shook my head.

I won't drink. I won't relapse again. 

Ever since Jughead has gone away, it was harder to stay sober and say no to the urge of drinking alcohol to forget but I always kept it under control till now... for Jughead... and now for Jellybean too. I don't want to disappoint him again, especially not by drinking. I want him home again but I know that he's safer there and that he gets help. I just want him to be happy and if he thinks that this is going to help, then so be it. As long as he's happy, I'm fine with almost everything.

The next morning, we ate breakfast and then went to Pop's for lunch. After that, I drove us to the psychiatric, since we weren't allowed to visit till 2pm anyways. 

** ~ Jughead Jones ~ **

"JellyBelly!" I yelled when my little sister had knocked and then walked through the door. She changed quite a bit - was taller and didn't have her black hair but rather blonde with a bandana - but of course, I recognized her immediately. I jumped out of the chair I was sitting on, writing on my paper block but then I pulled away, looking at her confused "JellyBelly...? What are you doing here?"

"I brought her here" dad admitted, appearing in the doorframe. My smile fell "why would you do this?? I told you not to do it. She isn't supposed to see me here" he sighed "but I also know that she's the only one you want to see, beside Archie of course. Has he called by now?" I shook my head "no but he eventually will, I hope so atleast. I mean, even Mr. A visited me once" he nodded "I'll leave you two alone so you can talk, okay? I bet that you have to catch up" dad left the room after that and closed the door behind him. We both settled down on my bed and she looked around the room before her gaze was fixed on me.

"are you okay? You look skinny. Besides, why are you here? Why are you not home with dad? I mean, you're okay, you don't have any problems. You don't need to be here, you're fine. You're happy" I sighed, grabbing her hands "JellyBelly... I've changed. I've been miserable for the whole past year. I ruined my relationship with Archie, I was horrible to dad and my friends and I got some pretty dark thoughts. I'm not okay. I have problems and I need to fix myself. There's something that's not okay with me, yeah? And I can't do anything about it, I need to be here for a while. Gosh, this is why I didn't want you here. You're too young to be dragged in the darkness so soon. You're my little sister and this is my mess, not yours. I'm supposed to protect you and not vise versa. I want you to be happy and not worry of how I am for as long as you can"

"but why?" I shrugged again "let's not talk about me. How are you? Have you already gotten a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend, I don't care what you date. But if someone sticks their tongue in your mouth, you'll have to bring them here so that I can have a little talk to them. You know, just something about me bring Serpent king, the most dangerous gang in our town" she started blushing and hit me on the arm, squeaking a "Jughead!" I chuckled "what?? I have to make sure that no one hurts my little baby sister. Sooo is there someone?" I asked, winking "there might be a girl in my school" she mumbled and I hummed before saying, "tell me more, now I'm interested"

"okay, so her name is Rebecca but I call her Beck's and we've been friends since Middle School. She's a class above me and there was this moment where we had an almost first kiss. Ever since then, she's been acting a bit distant towards me but I don't know if she even likes girl and I'm too shy to tell her that I like her more than friends" I nodded "okay, when I'm out of here, I'm going to visit Gladys to pay this Rebecca a visit and get my own opinion on her" I smiled but then it disappeared because Jellybean went to talk about me again "how is it here for you?" I shrugged "it's okay, I guess. I got a new friend, her name is Sabrina and she comes from Greendale. She's here because she has schizophrenia and she's getting a new medication. We get along very well and over the time, I noticed that we also have a lot in common, personality wise. We both enjoy reading books - especially crime fiction - we also have the same music taste" I explained and then we stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"you're going to be okay, right?" she asked and I nodded, giving her a bright (fake) smile "I'm going to be okay JellyBelly, I have to" she eyed me, probably making sure that I say the truth and then nodded, going to hug me again. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her just as tight as the first time. Someone knocked on the door and we broke apart from the hug "hey, I would have to go, emergency at work. Do you want to stay here a bit longer and then ride home with the bus or come with me now, JB?" he asked and Jellybean turned around to look at me. I just smiled, nodding "you can go JellyBelly, it's okay"

"you sure?" she asked and I nodded again "yes, I'm sure. Come on, go. I'm sure that we will see us again" Jellybean looked at me again before nodding and then hugging me again. But before she could hop off of the bed and put on her grey sport cardigan from Adidas, I ruffled her hair and she whined where I chuckled "bye JellyBelly and you keep me up to date with Rebecca, yeah?" she nodded, flushing red. I waved at her, grinning and she waved back before quickly heading out of the room. When she was outside, dad came in and we exchanged books. He always gets me new ones and I give him the ones I've already read, except 'Romeo and Juliet' which I've kept here from the start. Sabrina finds it's funny, since this is the only 'real' romance book, without crime fiction, I have "I don't know if you're genuinely happy or if you're only faking for JB right now" he said, back on the door, and to be honest, I didn't know. So, I shrugged and just smiled "I'm just happy that JellyBelly was here... Thank you for bringing her here" he nodded "it's really no problem Jug, I'm happy that you're better"

Yeah, today was a good day. 

** ~ Jellybean Jones ~ **

****

"will he be okay again? Cause he said that he will but I'm not really sure, he always lied to me when I asked how he's feeling" I asked when we had already sat down in the car and dad started driving. It was an hour ride so there was plenty of time "I think, that's an answer not even Jughead can answer right now. But if you give it time, I'm sure that he will be okay again" I nodded, staying quiet for a while but then another question popped in my mind "did something happen between mom and Jug?"

"I don't know JB. But not even after leaving and abdoming [HELP I CAN'T SPELL AHHHH] him, made him so cold towards her so I think that something happened but I don't know, guess you'll just have to ask him... But I know that no matter what, he loves you, more than anything. I mean, he would do everything to protect you and I know that sometimes it can be hard to deal with him because he quickly shuts down again but he's just scared that another person will leave or hurt him again" dad explained "what? Why?" I asked, whipping my head around to look at dad "because people, who enter Jughead's life, have a habit of either leaving or hurting him at some point. So now he's just at a point where he shuts down everyone and everything until they prove different, but even though then he's still careful to let people in"

"but Archie" I mumbled. Jug and dad had mentioned him a few times already and he seems to be important to Jug. Dad hummed, smiling "Archie is different. He somehow earned a special place in his heart and knocked down those walls he has build" I nodded and stared out of the window watching the trees passing "and who's Rebecca?" dad asked and I felt my cheeks heating up "a friend of mine" he hummed "a friend or a friend friend with potential of becoming your girlfriend?" I bit my bottom lip before replying "the second" he nodded "you are okay with that?" I added "of course I'm okay with it. Jughead is asexual, if you didn't know" I nodded "why do you ask? Does your mom not support LGBTQ+?"

"nope," I sighed "she can't find out, okay?" I asked and he nodded "of course, I won't tell her anything when you aren't ready" I smiled and then we stayed quiet for the rest of the ride.

**10**

**∼ Jughead Jones ∼**

Friday, 18th December 2020 

"and, are you ready to leave?" Sabrina asked, sitting on my bed and swinging her legs back and forth while I was packing my stuff since dad was filling out the last stuff and then I was able to leave "I think so" I mumbled, grabbing my books from the shelf "although that I'm not so sure. You know, here I am fine and safe but outside, there are people who bully me and problems I run away from, a boy who loves me, an alcoholic and abusive father, a sister who is at the other side of the state and a mother who abounded me" next were my clothes. "you promise to text me, right Jug?" Sabrina asked, looking at me and I hummed "of course, besides, Riverdale and Greendale aren't that far away from each other. We can visit each other, aren't I right?" I asked, smiling, and she nodded "I guess so" I sighed, flopping down on my suitcase in order to close it "Bri, we will see us again and I promise that I'll text you" I said when I finally closed this damn suitcase. She nodded and stood up to hug me, where I, of course, hugged her back.

"Jughead, are you coming?" Archie asked, coming in the room and I pulled away from the hug. Yeah, we have worked things out again, I guess. He called and then he came over and we talked things out. We are good, I think. I mean, we are not on bad terms anymore but we said that we would do things slow. Not that we could forget what happened in the past but I try to move on and trust him again - which is actually working out good enough, I guess "oh, you two haven't met yet. Arch, this is Sabrina - my friend from here" I introduced, gesturing to Sabrina "and Brina, this is Archie - my boyfriend" I said, gesturing to Archie. They smiled and then shook hands "good, but now we have to go. Your dad is already waiting, and someone else" Archie said and my face lit up "is JellyBelly here??" he nodded and I squealed "ohmygod where?? Is she waiting with dad??" he chuckled, resting his hands on my shoulders "calm down Juggy, she's waiting in the car"

"he's really hyper to see his sister" Bri commented "well, he has seen only one time for a few minutes ever since his mom left 4 years ago, so do you blame him?" Archie said and I pulled away from him, saying a "hey, I'm still here" Archie chuckled but then dad interrupted us, suddenly being in the room as well "yes you are and Jellybean is waiting in the car, the papers are filled out, so why don't we leave?" I smiled, nodding. He took my suitcase and then went to leave the room but turned around to look at me "well, are you coming or do you want to stay here a bit longer?" I turned to look at Sabrina and she smiled, ushering me to go.

"I'll text you, I promise" I resured before Archie grabbed my hand and lead me out of the room. As soon as we were outside, he pressed me against the wall and pressed his lips on mine "A-Arch, we said that we would go slow" I mumbled and he pulled away, only inches away to speak "but I haven't seen you for almost two months" he whined "well, who's fault is that? Dad drove here every Tuesday and Saturday, you could have come with him" he pouted, mumbling "that's not the same" before kissing me again. I smiled but had to slightly push him away "Archie please, JellyBelly is waiting in the car. I want to see her" I mumbled, impatiently and he chuckled, rolling his eyes but smiling "you're adorable when you are excited and bouncing up and down" Archie grabbed my hand again and then walked over to dad's car, where he had already put my suitcase in the trunk but I couldn't see Jellybean. Suddenly someone hugged me and I yelped but then turned around to see none other but my little sister. I engulfed her in a tight sibling-hug and smiled. I don't know how long we stayed there like that but we pulled away just when dad cleared his throat. JellyBelly sat down in the driver's seat and Archie and I sat in the backseat "so, plan for the rest of the day so far: we are going to pops" dad said, starting the engine "so my great comeback is, and all you've planned is pops?" I asked, chuckling, and then buckling up "it's you're favorite thing, aside from food" Archie said, nudging my arm. I rolled my eyes, leaning on his shoulder with my head, smiling.

We had spent the rest of the day at pops, talking, eating and stuff like that. But then, around 4pm, dad and JellyBelly already drove back to the trailer with dad's car while Archie and I stayed at pops. As soon as the car was out of sight, he slid over to sit beside me, laying an arm over my shoulders. I chuckled, looking up at him.

"what?" he shrugged "you're just beautiful" he whispered and I shook my head "I'm far from beautiful Arch..." he got the curl out of my face that always fell in the same place again and brushed it under my beanie "Juggy, don't say that, you're beautiful and gorgeous" I blushed, looking down but then I felt two fingers rest on my chin and making me look up "you're beautiful Juggy, you believe me, right?" I sighed but then nodded. He eyed me, his lips softly brushing mine and then he cocked his head "yes, yeah I do believe you Archie. Now get lost" he snorted, playfully pushing me away and I started laughing. Gosh... I love him so much.

Archie cleared his throat, making me look at him again "I uh... Well, Mr. Jones and I got you something. It's not big or expensive but it should do it's job. See it as a late birthday present or early Christmas" I furrowed my brows confused but then Arch got out a little box - wrapped in wrapping paper and blue ribbon "oh and Jellybean also donated 5$" I carefully unwrapped it and then opened the box, seeing a new phone "wha-"

"well, you'll have to have something to call me when you feel like harming or just want to talk to me or I need to pick you up. So we all paid a bit, so that you can have a phone like every normal teenager nowadays" I chuckled "thank you so much" I mumbled, looking at him and then kissing Archie "no need to thank me Jug, besides, Mr. Jones paid most of the money" I put the phone on the table and then hugged Archie tight. I pulled away and smiled even brighter, hugging Archie again "I love you, so so much" he chuckled, ruffling my hair, since I had my beanie on the table "I love you too, Juggy" I rested my head on Archie's chest and he played with my hair. The evening went by and before we knew it, dad was calling me and told us, or at least me, to come back home. At the trailer, I gave them both, dad and JellyBelly, a bear hug before grabbing Archie's hand and dragging him in my room "we are going to be quiet, understood?" I mumbled, locking the door behind us "wait, what?" Archie asked "I said, we. are. going. to. be. quiet, understood?" I repeated, looking up at him but then switching my gaze to look at his lips. His gaze flickered to my lips before returning to my eyes "I thought, we wanted go take it slow?" he said, smirking "but we are" he shook his head "not when we are making out right now"

"but we will be quiet, so it won't count" he eyed me "you sure about that?" I nodded "more than sure" he took a deep breath, inching closer. I got on my tiptoes and then slowly brushed his lips before pulling away again "what?" Archie asked, caressing my face. I shook my head, smiling "nothing" I wrapped my arms around his neck and then kissed him more passionate. We slowly walked over to my bed, putting off our jackets. He sat down on it and pulled me on top of him. But when I moved down to kiss his jawline and then neck, he stopped me, carefully cupping my face.

"not today, yeah? Remember, we both agreed on taking things slow" I sighed but nodded, he was right "okay, fine. Let's sleep then?" I suggested and he nodded, rocking back to the edge of the bed. Archie pulled a blanket over us and then started playing with my hair "I'm happy that you're back in my arms Jug, I missed you all those night" Archie mumbled after a few moments of silence and I blushed, hiding my face in his chest. After that he turned off the lamp without any warning, which made me squeak, but he chuckled, asking "you okay?" I nodded, moving around to get comfortable on him "goodnight Juggy" he said, kissing my forehead "night Arch" I mumbled and then, when I thought that he was asleep, I whispered, "I'm happy too Arch..."


End file.
